Y/n is a traveling scholar studying in the detective's field. They were sent to work with a professional detective as an assistant for 2 months. However, this detective has a new interest to explore... I wonder who it might be?
[there will be some m...
Sorry for the hiatus everyone! Feeling artistic and motivated again, so I gift to you this chapter and this song lol. I feel like the song may fit, depending on how you perceive the vibe of this chapter. It is my favorite song though lol so I guess I have a bit of a bias![although, I prefer the version sung by Hanatan lol]
IMPORTANT! if you didn't realize or are confused, "he [in bold]" and "he [in italics]" are different people.
For some reason, you had always imagined drowning would be... comforting. Especially in freezing water. Enveloped in a cold so harsh, it became warm. The little warmth you found became greater than ever. The water would feel motherly, nurturing, putting you to sleep with its cold, sparing you the suffering of being awake while you drown.
Sometimes you thought being impaled would feel comfortable, too. Like a bit of pressure hitting you right where your guts feel loose, securing them in their spot. Making it feel like all of your dear organs were secure and safe, not going anywhere.
Unfortunately, You knew that wasn't true. So long as you had the will to live, it's not like you had to think about that stuff. Back in your home, the days all seemed the same. One by one, day by day. Nothing changed. So repetitive, you began finding ways to entertain yourself. Finding new hobbies, helping pedestrians. There was one in particular. You would think about the past a lot. So much so, that you would begin to feel like you were really there. Back in the snow of Dragonspine, bundled in scarves and yarn. So many layers that it felt like your whole body was made from carefully hand-knitted yarn.
You wished you could go back.
So
So
So bad.
In your academy, training to be a detective, studying hard, practicing day and night and day and night and day and night, over and over. You would spend your weekends crying, sleeping, and watching the stars as the fairy of doubt danced and twirled a waltz outside your window, teasing you. Would you ever make it out of this endless cycle? Class. Study. Sleep. Class. Study Sleep. Class. Study. Sleep.
When does it end?
Nearing the end of your second year, you got chosen as the lucky student to become an apprentice for 2 months, assigned to a well known detective. It didn't seem real. You were too tired to seem excited about it.
So
So
So tired.
You took a couple months to regenerate before heading to Inazuma. Nothing changed still. Each day, you laid in your bed staring at the ceiling wondering "Is this even going anywhere? I'll just be a failure. I'll fail, again and again and again. Just like I always do."
You were so tired of building new homes over and over, just for them to be destroyed again and again. So tired of loving people and trusting people over and over, with your deepest thoughts, to be pushed away, to be given another reason to hate yourself. So tired of people bothering you.
And you were tired of not being able to stop being you. Not being able to shut up at the right times, not being able to say things at the right times. Not being aware of your surroundings, but so perceptive that people got creeped out. Not being able to stop talking about your interests. Not being able to stop loving what you loved.
You just couldn't understand why you didn't fit in the same puzzle as the rest of the world.
But he did. And so did he. Both of them understood. One, with his captivating forest green eyes and his hair like burnt cinnamon. The other, with gentle words and a crimson stare. They knew how you felt. He carefully picked out every word in every sentence, he analyzed your speech patterns, he saw how you reacted to certain things and your lack thereof to others. He put together the information and your point of view on the world became clear.
On the other hand, he observed you from afar. He preferred the more intimate side of you, the side nobody else sees. When you're alone, staring at the rain outside the window. When you encounter a lost child. When you whisper the lyrics of your favorite song, he can see you. Not you on the outside, you on the inside. He feels what you feel. He knows what it's like to be you.
But they wanted more. They wanted more than to know you. They wanted you to know them, but... he didn't want you to know him, and he didn't want you to know him.
They wanted you to themselves. He wanted to know every inch of you. To discover every inch of your skin, let his hands explore you, analyze every move you make, every breath you take. He wanted to run his hands up your ribcage and feel the bumps and ridges, he wanted to hear your voice saying his name. He just wanted to have you as his own forever, and nobody else.
He wanted to run his delicate fingers through your soft hair, he wanted to observe the way your gentle fingers moved as you sketched. He wanted to see the sunlight hit your irises at the perfect angle, lighting up your whole eye. He wanted to see your perfection, in whole, shining with no shame. He wanted to love you as much as he could.
But... would you be able to love both of them at once, when you couldn't even love yourself?
