Sealing The Deal #JustWriteIt

Chapter Thirteen - Ashamed

Ashamed
Riley Beaumont

Everything hurt. My head hurt, much like the throbbing in my heart. I wanted to everything to go back to normal. I wished I never even pursued Paislee. My throat closes up every time I think about her.

Her company was more important than me. She cares more about money, her own selfish greed that she couldn't see she had someone who really loves her! You can't just you around with feelings.

I felt how ashamed she was of me. I was ugly, unattractive, and she didn't love me. She lied to me. She didn't love me. She didn't want me. She didn't find me attractive.

"God, I'm pathetic." I muttered to myself and wallowed in self pity.

I turned over to my TV and searched for something to watch. I trudged downstairs and got some the carton of brown bit ice cream and came back to my room. I was seriously pathetic. I had favorited Paislee twitter and instagram page. I read every tweet, looked at every picture, read every freaking comment.

Her fans seemed to know the truth and called her on her lies. Calling it all bullshit and she needs to man up and be who she is. I couldn't agree anymore.

Part of me knew she loved me. Part of me was just mad that she was so ashamed of being apart of the LGBT community. How could she be so selfish and not realize I was there for her?

"Riley, it smells like a pig stye in here." Teagan said, holding her nose.

"Shut up. It's the leftover Thai food in the trash." I said, training my eyes on the sad romance and stuff more ice cream into my mouth.

"Go shower and look decent." she instructed, "I'll help you clean your messy kitchen to keep myself busy while you get dressed and shower."

"Why? I just want to sleep." I responded, turning over in the bed and pulling the thick duvet over my head.

"Get yo ass up before I go ghetto girl on you, understand?" Teagan said, crossing her arms and giving me that hard look.

"Fine, fine." I agreed, remembering the time she literally dragged me from my bed into the cold shower.

I went to my closet to find something "nice" to wear. What did she mean nice? Nice casual? Dressy casual? I sighed, deciding to go with dressy causal.

After a nice, long, and hot shower, I pulled on some black jeans and a black button up shirt with a black leather jacket over the shirt. I slipped into my black boots with the shiny buckles on the side. I styled my unruly hair into my infamous Mohawk and sprayed a hint of cologne onto the collar of my shirt.

"See, that's the Riley I like to see." Teagan said, "Now go add lotion and brush your teeth or whatever you haven't done yet and comes downstairs."

"Fine." I grumbled, going to the bathroom and doing the things I hadn't yet.

"Are you ready to leave?" Teagan asked, handing me a plate with two cinnamon rolls topped with blueberries and strawberries on top.

"Yep." I said, accepting the plate and biting into the sticky sweetness.

We walked down the clustered streets of New York. I had almost smashed my breakfast on myself or someone else billions of times so far. I had finally finished, just as we stepped into Starbucks and I washed my hands in the bathroom while Teagan ordered our drinks.

"A mint white chocolate crumble frap okay?" Teagan asked, holding two cups in her hands.

"Yes, thanks. Now why'd you drag me out of bed?" I asked, standing up straight and sipping the icy drink.