𝓟𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓸𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓫𝓲𝓪 | Alternative Chapters

Extra POV: James - The End

The newspaper came in, and James' face dropped the second he saw the front page.

News was out that Ophelia and Regulus had died mysteriously the night before, and they were found dead near a cave in London by a muggle that morning.

In that horrifying moment, he didn't have any idea what to say or do. He slumped down on his chair, causing the wooden legs to scrape against the floor. Lily heard the noise from the kitchen, and was curious as to what happened. He was silent, so she was only met with her husband in a distracted silence.

"James, what's wrong?"

He said nothing, just continued to stare at the wall opposite him.

James was usually the type to be bouncing off the walls, even in the early morning like this, so Lily couldn't help but become increasingly concerned with each second that passed like this.

"James, please say something." She started to plead. "Tell me what's the matter."

"The paper, it was just delivered." He said blankly.

The woman had no idea what he meant. She tried to hold back a laugh in her confusion.

"Yes, dear. An owl brings it by every morning, what's—"

She cut herself off the moment she saw the front page of the paper on her husband's lap.

"James." Lily walked slowly towards him. She sat next to him and slung an arm around him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

His mind was blank. He didn't even know what he could talk about at the moment. He thought about all the things he had said to his sister, all the times he heard her crying in her room and he just walked past. He regretted it, but there was no point in regret when there was nothing he could do to make it better.

"I don't know." James told her honestly. "I really don't know."

Lily knew that James sometimes had issues in communication when it came to his feelings, so she tried pressing a little harder. She wouldn't have done it if she thought James was just avoiding the question, but she could tell that he really just didn't know what to say.

"Well, do you feel sad? Guilty? Maybe even relieved—"

He blinked for the first time since Lily sat down, and looked at his wife. "Why would I feel relieved?"

"Well, you and Ophelia always had your issues with each other, maybe this is a rationalisation for that." Her mouth suddenly felt dry. She hated saying this out loud. "If she was a death eater—"

"She wasn't. The article said they found a fading mark on him but not her."

"Well, you still had issues. I mean, she didn't even want to come to our wedding, and—"

James interrupted his wife again. "I never invited her." 

"What are you talking about, James?" Lily asked, but it was more of an order than the polite question she had hoped for. 

"I never invited her to the wedding. I told you that she didn't want to come. I told Sirius that we only wanted a wedding with friends. I told everyone that I didn't want to talk about it any more. And no one did."

Lily looked distraught. It was deserved of course, she had just discovered that her husband had been lying to her for over a year. "Why wouldn't you invite your own sister to the wedding?" 

"You uninvited your sister!" James defended. 

She became angry at his answers and her tone was stern as she spoke. "That's different, and you know that. I asked you a question, James, and I would like you to answer it."

He started to cry. Tears fell down his cheeks and he nested in Lily's chest, weeping into her. 

"I don't know, Lils." Each sentence was separated by a loud sob. "I was scared she was a death eater because she's always been so close to him. And like you said, we've always had our differences. They just all seem so small now and I just can't explain it."

Lily kissed the top of his head and rubbed his back, trying to comfort her husband in this confusing time of grief for him. 

"Okay, it's alright. Let it out." 

"And she probably went on thinking I hated her. I'm pretty sure Sirius told her about the wedding. And even if he didn't she probably still thought I was against her. We fought so much, how could she not?"

Lily looked at James, even if he wasn't looking at her. "She was a nice girl, I have no doubts that she forgave you." 

He sat up, and looked in the green eyes he had spent his life daydreaming about. He tried to imagine the feeling they used to give him. He couldn't feel it anymore. That happiness was gone with his sister, and he knew that only one of those two things would ever come back. 

"She is a nice girl, but it's not enough. Even if she forgave me, she still thought it. I should have been there for her. I'm her older brother, it was my responsibility and I failed. I was terrible to her, and now she's gone." 

Lily wasn't going to lie and deny anything James said. She danced around with her words, trying to figure out what to say that could be helpful in a time like this. 

"Well, there's nothing you can do now except be there for the other people who cared about her." She told him. 

James stood up and walked to the door, putting on his shoes. Lily got up as well and watched as he got ready to leave without saying anything. 

"Your parents?" She asked, guessing the people who should have been closest to Ophelia, even if she knew they weren't.

"Yeah." James said sadly. 

Lily put on her shoes as well. She wasn't letting James go without her in this state of mind. 

"What if they're upset with me too?" He asked her. "What if they hate how I treated her too? Or if they think I should have been there for her?" 

James almost never showed that he was scared. Of anything. This was jarring for his wife, but she tried hard to conceal it. 

"They won't hate you." She said, taking James' hand. "We'll go to their house, and you'll see."