❝𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐒❞ | k. everdeen

chapter 21: welcome home.

—I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to cause a fuss —Nola half-apologized as Coin escorted her back to the offices. She knew that getting into trouble could mean her exclusion from leaving for District 2, which would mean staying down there for who knows how much longer—. They asked me questions and I....

Coin raised her hand, smiling slightly. However, she didn't stop walking until they reached a long hallway. It had dim lighting and several doors on either side, as if it wasn't a location too exposed to the public. When Coin pulled out a metal card, held it up to a sensor and it beeped, looking for more than just a card, Nola knew she probably wouldn't be frequenting these places much longer.

—It's okay, Nola —Coin finally said. Her long, silver hair rested on her shoulders, perfectly combed and groomed, and Nola wondered if Coin would be looking at her unkempt hair as much as Nola appreciated the other woman's. She suddenly felt watched and almost scolded, no matter how much Coin said she wasn't in trouble—. People down here are curious, you know, it's been a long time since we've been able to live a normal life, and when we meet people as extraordinary as you, I think it's normal for excitement to arise —Nola looked up quickly when she heard the word "extraordinary". Coin motioned for her to take a seat, as if the conversation was going to go anywhere—. Anyway, your curiosity is my fault. I owe you an apology, Nola. We decided it was best to publicly televise your test to show the rest of the soldiers what you are capable of. Your recovery is accelerated and increases exponentially, reaching points we never thought we would reach, or at least were certain would not reach in a matter of weeks, even months. But you, once again, show us that we are not always right, and that provokes even more curiosity. You are a resilient person, Nola, and I think that's a lesson everyone should learn from you. However, I reiterate my apologies. We should have warned that this would happen.

—What if I hadn't acted the way I did? What if I had proven to be a total and resounding failure?

Coin smiled again, settling back in her seat and interlacing her own fingers—. Aside from an apology, I also owe you sincerity. We senior members meet frequently, Beetee and Boggs are part of it, the former as head of the technical team, and Boggs as head of the tactical team. You may have noticed that they are two people who are always present at your monitoring, your testing, whatever you prefer to call it, and according to their accounts, at no time did we doubt that you would be able to do what you demonstrated earlier. Yes, it is obvious that you are still in a process of recovery. You may never fully overcome many of the effects Snow's tortures inflicted on your body and mind, but the results are infinitely better than we imagined. They are hopeful. They make us think that we can recover a key piece for the rebellion and for the battle ahead.

—In short, you knew I would be able to fight.

The woman in front of her nodded —We were almost sure of it, and I see that we were not wrong. As I tell you, we know that it is possible that you still suffer episodes of panic or anger, but we must work on it more slowly, progressively, do you understand? Just so we understand each other, Nola, we are aware that you may still represent a danger to yourself and to others, but we decided to take that risk and put our trust in you and in your recovery abilities. It is a risk we are willing to take because we know that your strengths may be greater than your weaknesses, and we want you to think and trust yourself as well. That's why we've decided that you are eligible to participate in our District 2 immersion.

Nola lifted her head as if activated by a spring, and swallowed saliva. Going to District 2 meant going home, a place she had almost forgotten all about. She calculated quickly in her head, and if she wasn't mistaken, it had been more than three months since she'd last set foot in the place that had seen her grow up.

—You said yourself that I can still be a danger. What if one day I lose my mind and decide it's best to take revenge on someone I think is my enemy?

—When I say it is a risk we are willing to take, I do not mean that you will walk freely like any of our soldiers. You will not carry a firearm on you, just as you will not have weapons such as swords or knives until you demonstrate no erratic behavior. We have soldiers who will exert force if necessary should you suffer an episode, and who will be watching you every step of the way. Hawthorne has volunteered for all of this, and we trust him because he is one of our most devoted soldiers. I think I detected a special relationship with Hawthorne, am I right? He will monitor you and keep an eye on you, and we will get feedback about you every few weeks to process your recovery —Coin's voice was still soft but hard at the same time, like a mother's scolding—. It's an opportunity we think you should take advantage of, Nola, to prove to yourself that you are capable of this as well. Of course, we won't force you to leave here if you feel you're not ready. Even Haymitch has advocated that you go out on the battlefield. Maybe seeing the Mockingjay again will make you clear on your goals again.