I know you love me (Karlnap)

(Chapter 30)

!!TW!! SH, talking about suicide

(Sapnap's pov)

"Why are you looking at me like that Sap?" Karl says, laughing. His laugh snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hm? What?" I ask, earning a laugh from him once more.

"I asked you why you were looking at me and smiling, you look like a dork." he says, regaining his breath from all the laughing.

"Oh, I don't know, you're just so pretty I get distracted." I say and chuckle. He rolls his eyes.

"Oh my god you are so annoying. You are so fucking annoying I wish I never liked you." His voice is cold, the friendly–ness gone. My smile fades.

"What?"

"Oh come on Sapnap, do you really think anyone has forgotten? You bullied me for years, which sent me into a deep depression. You are the reason I've cut myself; you've made me wanna kill myself." He says, staring coldly into my eyes, fear plasters my face.

"What? You don't believe me? Just look." His voice is emotionless.

He rolls up his sleeve up to his elbow and I go wide–eyed looking at the red lines covering his arm.

(Karl's pov)

I wake up and hear what sounds like crying, I roll over to see Sapnap sniffling in his sleep. His eyebrows knit together, and he starts to hyperventilate. I begin to try and wake him up.

"Sap?" I say and shake his shoulder slightly.

He jolts awake, I snap my hand away from him out of fear. He sits up and stares in horror at the wall in front of him, he's shaking with fear and sweating.

"Hey, what happened?" I ask in a soothing voice, he partially catches his breath before slowly grabbing my wrist and rolling up my sleeve to my elbow. I watch his expression when he looks at my wrist, he begins to tear up.

"Sapnap, what are you doing? Whatever happened, you know it was just a nightmare right?" I reassure him, though he only sheds more tears.

He hugs me tight, "I'm so sorry Karl, I'm so sorry." His expression is so sad; so painful.

"Sap, seriously, are you okay? You're scaring me." I stare at him with not the slightest clue on how to help.

"I did this to you, didn't I?" He chokes, looking up at me with his emotional visage, "I'm such a horrible person, I don't deserve you-"

I didn't know what to do, but I placed my hand on his cheek and softly kissed him. Wiping his tears with my thumb, his expression only pained me to see.

"Sap, the past is the past. That isn't you anymore. You've changed, Sap, and I love you more than anything." I say, then kiss him once more, "I don't care about what happened, or what you did, because that isn't who you are now."

"I'm so sorry, Karl. I just should have treated you better." Sapnap cried.

I hugged him, as there wasn't much I could do but be there to reassure him.

"Sap, you mean more to me than you know. It doesn't matter anymore, all that you control is what happens right now. You shouldn't have to dwell on things you can't change." I state, hugging him tighter.

"But-" he starts, but I cut him off.

"No Sap, you know I'm right." I smile.

"I suppose I can't argue with that." He laughed, wiping his tears.

(562 words :D)