I know you love me (Karlnap)

(Chapter 39)

!!TW!! Self harm, mentioned wounds, mentioned violence, mentioned domestic abuse.

(Karl's pov)

I meant it when I said it, I do love him. But this is all off, how can he laugh with me but have a busted face. Why didn't he fight back? He was clearly stronger than that kid, and he had a good opportunity to fight back. But he didn't? I don't get it. A few months ago he would have beat that kid to a pulp, and then stand up and laugh about it. But now he didn't even lift a finger, he just laid there on the tiled floor of that hallway and practically sleep through the whole ordeal.

"Sap?"

"Yeah?" he sleepily replied. He sat up and faced me, I watched as he blinked away the sleep that had tried to claim him just a few seconds before.

I looked down in an attempt to think about how to phrase my question. It only took me a moment to figure it out, and when I did I looked back into his eyes. "Why didn't you fight back?"

"What?"

"Sapnap, you could have easily defended yourself, why didn't you?"

"Uhh."

(Sapnap's pov)

I knew the reason, I just simply didn't want to fight. Fighting isn't fun anymore, it makes me feel like a horrible person.

Karl slightly tilted his head to the side and waited for my answer.

"I don't know, I guess I don't really like fighting anymore."

"But you used to fight people all the time, like it was nothing. Why is it different now?"

"I think it's different because I don't want you to see me like that ever again." Emotions were starting to weld up inside me, I had a feeling I might snap.

"You don't want me to see you sticking up for yourself?" he asks, looking at me in a confused manner.

"That's not it ..." I trail off.

"Then what is it, Sapnap, talk to me."

I don't know what it was about that sentence, it could have been the love that laced his tone when he spoke, or possibly the sincereness of his words. Whatever it was, that sentence broke the wall that blocked my emotions from coming out. And I just started talking as tears fell out of my eyes.

"I don't want you to feel scared around me ever again. I don't want to hurt you ever again; I don't want to hurt anyone ever again. Also, I'm so so so sorry for everything that I did to you, I know ive been pretty fucking toxic and I feel like shit for all of that. A-and I've been trying to be better to you and-" Karl put his hand behind my head and guided it to his shoulder, all I could do was close my eyes and sob into his light purple sweater.

"I'm not mad at you Sapnap." He calmly stated and rubbed small circles into my back.

I sat up and looked at him in the eyes. "Well you should be, I bullied you for years, I punched you in the stomach on the first day of school just for looking at me. I insulted your best friend with personal information about his past, I was an asshole; I am an asshole! You could find someone that could treat you like royalty, and you deserve that; you deserve so much better than me Karl. I have done nothing but ruin your life." With tears streaming down my face, I looked down at his hands, and they shook slightly; only slightly. I looked back into his eyes.

"You haven't ruined my life."

"Yes I hav-"

"No you haven't, and don't ever say that to me again. Because of you, I don't cut myself. Sapnap you gave me a reason to live. You showed me that I am worthy of good things; that I'm worthy of love. You gave me a safe place to live, you went into my house with my terrifying father and took a punch to the face for me. I don't want anyone else besides you Sapnap. I love you more than words can express." He stated and maintained eye contact, I could tell just by his expression that he meant every word.

I couldn't help it, I began to cry again. Karl opened his arms for me and I fell into them. And once again, I was crying into his lavender colored sweater.

"I'm sorry Karl, for everything." I mumbled into his shoulder.

"You don't need to be, love." He calmly stated once again.

I lifted my head from his shoulder and kissed him on the lips, it was gentle and loving. I pulled away and began to speak.

"Karl, I-"

"Sapnap, you don't even have to say it, I know you love me."

The end :) 776 words, an a/n will be posted at some point. Thank you all for reading!