Some Of Me Started Loving More Of You

WITHHOLDING

|| CHAPTER TEN ||

Haan mere paas tum raho, Jaane ki baat na karo...

Mere saath tum raho, Jaane ki baat na karo...

DAMN IT! With a surge of irritation Arjun muted the music, scrolled the page on the screen of the laptop for the second time and tried to read the details again. He had never had a problem with concentration, never in the morning, it was time of preparing himself for the day. His room had a lovely view of the mountains, peaks that had been a part of his life always, part of who he was, they were helping him to be a better person and look for deeper meaning in life. He would never get used to it. Every morning looking at the vastness and the beauty he felt privileged. He couldn't imagine not breathing in the air that carries a unique fragrance of mountains. It had been his routine for years now, fantastic view to look at and music playing alongside he would plan his day's activities, these morning hours always giving him the energy to dive into the day ahead. But today was not the same at all, it was proving the rule, 'everything has an exception'. Nothing about the morning was helping him to concentrate on the task in hand. He was up early, hell, he hadn't even slept properly. Even an early morning run was not peaceful as many things simultaneously created mayhem in his mind.

The woman had literally shaken his peaceful world! Giving up on the attempts of understanding the words on the screen he finally put the laptop aside. He couldn't make any sense of what had happened the night before. And he couldn't stop thinking about it! First, he didn't know what made him talk about his relationship with Asmi. He was upset, the reality of his relationship tormenting him but that didn't mean he should have let Nidhi see through him. And as if that was not enough, he forgot to watch his focus and let himself be in her vicinity and let that strange but powerful force take them in a tight hold, it was a relief though they had managed to not cross the line. There were several reasons he wouldn't cross it and he thought she wouldn't either. But she shocked him with her sudden declaration. And then without giving him a moment she acted on it, he almost lost his balance the moment her fingers touched his face, his whole being shuddered with strange energy that seized him to the place. He knew what was about to happen, he had seen it in her eyes, that intense determination of exploring something forbidden. And the strength of her determination weakened every resolve he tried to hold on to, he found himself unable to step back from it. Her warm, seeking touch robbed every thought from his mind, the anticipation was too frightening he almost forgot breathing. And the moment he surrendered to the inevitable her fingers stilled, halting in her exploration she stumbled back. It was pure panic in those eyes that shocked him and worried him but before he could do anything she mumbled sorry and walked away from him, leaving him with a variety of tousled feelings. And still after the whole troubled, sleepless night he couldn't get rid of the messy emotions surging within him. They were just a moment away from stepping into forbidden terrain. What suddenly happened then that she changed her mind? And what exactly bothered him most? His disastrous self-control, her maddening impulse, her panic or her apology? Or the kiss that didn't happen? With rising frustration, he walked out on the deck, a fresh morning had nothing to offer or to contribute in revitalizing his spirit. Worry was on the top of everything he was feeling, he realized as he watched her on the other end of the deck. Since her arrival, every morning he would find her there, watching the mountains. She was always up early, her days planned, and she never seemed like holidaying. He had seen her working, her focus, her spunk, her passion had stunned him and so had her uncompromising attitude. But deep beneath that attitude buried some secret, he had also witnessed a vulnerability, some fear she desperately tried to get rid of. The same fear he had seen before she walked away from him last night. And that bothered him more than it should.