Sometimes it hits me that I'm sad.
That I will never not be sad.
That I can and will have those moments of happiness.
Of numbness.
Or of fatigue.
But I'll always come back to being sad.
Sad is my stable state.
Where I will sit once the days ended.
Once the sun has set and my job has finished.
Once my street becomes quiet and those around me sleep.
Sad will be my constant.
Almost as if it were my very own built in safety blanket.
It welcomes me home.
Sad will be waiting at the door with a cup of tea.
To ask me how my day was and tuck me into bed.
Sad will never leave me.
Not even if I wanted it to.
Not even if I tried to say goodbye.
Sad knows me too well.
Sad knows I need to cry.
Sad knows sometimes I won't cry, but I'll feel her hold just as tight.
Sad knows I'll never be alone.
Sad will keep me company.
Sad won't ever let me go.
