"Are you feeling better?"
I shook my head, still hugging him tightly.
I can't seem to let go.
No, I really can't.
It feels like if I let go, he's probably gone the next second.
This is probably the worst feeling I can ever feel in my entire life when I feel numb most of the time.
Being so afraid that someone you love gone missing suddenly.
I heard that the plane is being shot down by Russia because they are like, indirectly threatening countries who tries to help Ukraine.
They had a war remember?
Russia attacked Ukraine.
And many celebrities around the world actually gather to held concert in order to help funding Ukraine after the war.
Jackson is one of them too.
"I won't go anywhere anymore. Try to sleep hmm?"
He said while caressesing my hair and I just take in his scent over and over again.
Trying to make sure he's really here, by my side.
"I'm going to dwell in this for a really long time so just let me."
I honestly said.
I fall into a hell hole of losing him in seconds.
You don't expect me to climb back up to the surface so fast just because I know he's dumb enough to not board the flight.
My heart and mind;
They don't settle with that only.
I feel everything unreal in just seconds, you know?
That everything happened between us, every moment we spent, everything;
It's like it's gone just because he's gone.
I feel alive because of him.
How am I supposed to still feel the same when he's gone?
"Arraseo. But don't take too long. Until then, I won't leave your side."
He muttered in korean before hugging me around my shoulder and let me buried my face on his neck.
I breathe in shakily.
We fall into silence, for a long time.
Then he asked me one thing.
"If I really die, what will you do?"
"If you want to kill me, go ahead and die."
No more pretty words.
As harsh as it sounds, I'm being serious.
I probably will just die too.
"Don't tell me things like if I die, I want you to stay alive for me. It's impossible. Don't die before me."
"Yah, what about our kids next time?"
"Then you make sure you don't die by any chance. I don't care, you guarantee it yourself. You think you don't have any responsibility on the kids now? I give birth to them means I must have the full responsibility on them is it?"
Is he trying to get a scolding or what?
I will probably slap him for asking this, only if I'm not dwelling in my own sadness now.
He then sighed so deep.
"Looks like I found myself a girl who will die for me if I die."
"Didn't you know that before you start a relationship with me?"
