𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 ✦ 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 "𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭" 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲

6

[ Simon ]

I carefully shut the door. Hopefully the guys are all asleep. "Where have you been?" Not a chance with that motherfucker here.

"Gordo and I went for a run." I took Gordo's collar off. He ran to John and happily greeted him. "This late?"

"We've been out for a while." I walked past him, heading to my room.

"Simon. I know what you're doing."

I didn't stop at that comment. He doesn't know. It's one of his stupid little games. Footsteps and paws on the floor followed behind me.

If we have to argue I'd rather do it in my room and keep everyone else out of it.

"Don't ignore me." John demanded as I opened my door.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Gordo ran inside and went straight to his bed. John came into the room with me.

"Why isn't she dead yet?" He asked.

"A lot of loose ends. Some of us actually like our jobs to be clean." I pulled my shoes off, tossing them across the room.

"I don't know what you're thinking. You're a killer. She could never want you."

I didn't freeze up. I continued like that meant nothing to me. The anger inside me was building up with every word that left his mouth.

"I don't want her. I don't have any need for love in my life." I mumbled back to him.

John grabbed my mask out of my bedside drawer.

"This. This is what you are Simon. An emotionless killer. You are Ghost. You will always be Ghost."

I avoided looking at him now while he spoke. My fingers curled into a fist. He's wrong. I'm more than that.

"And what are you? Huh? You've constantly got women on your dick. What makes me different? Last time I checked you've racked up your own number of kills."

John scoffed. "I'm not different. I just know that there will never be anything between me and anyone no matter how badly I want it. You don't know that."

I got up, grabbing him by his shirt. "I am nothing like you think I am." John stared at me, waiting for me to get violent with him.

That would only prove his point.

"Get out."

I put him down, shoving him towards the door. "Don't get confused, Simon." With that he shut my bedroom door, leaving me alone.

I turned away. Anger pent up inside me begging to be let out. How? How do I let it out? I don't want to prove him right. I am not a violent killing machine.

I sat down next to Gordo, reaching over and placing a hand on his head. He didn't move at all. I started to pet him slowly. This is stupid. It's not going to work.

I stood back up. Stop. Stop. Stop. Just stop being angry. Just stop. I grabbed my face, sitting down on my bed. Just stop being angry.

I am not violent.

I grabbed the mask, slipping it over my face. I am not a violent person. I left my room. The gym. I'll just go to the gym.

This stupid mask. Ghost and Simon Riley are not the same person. We are not the same person. I stopped, turning and hitting the wall as hard as I could.

The drywall caved in under my fist.

We are not the same.

I am not a violent mindless killer.

I refuse to be that.

I ripped the mask off, storming back to my room. He got what he wanted. He made me mad. Good job, Simon. You proved him right. That you're just a temperamental guy who only knows violence.

You're just like dad.

I crawled into my bed, pulling the covers over my head. You're just like dad, Simon.

I closed my eyes, hugging myself.

I'm not like dad. Please show me I'm not like him. I can't be like him. I can't be like him. I held myself, pleading for sleep.

Just let me sleep.