See that up there? That's my diary. But it says you should have a cupcake. So I took a picture of it.
So there's this video on YouTube that's like, 'Why Women Don't Fart and Other Mysteries Revealed.' It's on BuzzFeed and it's totally hilarious so you should check it out. Anyways, guys keep commenting stuff like, "Girls shouldn't fart in front of guys. When guys do it, it's funny, but girls doing it is just nasty." So I posted this:
Before you write a comment about how men are allowed to fart and burp and sneeze, please read this:
Although this may be difficult for you to hear- and you might want to sit down for this- women, sadly, are human. Shocker, I know. Deep breaths: in, out, in, out. Good. It's ok, I know. Women, humans? Jesus, what has the world come to? Well, yes, it's true. Women are people, too. And unfortunately, the protocol for humans involves- wait for it- bodily functions. GASP. God, I know. I know! Bodily functions? God damn! But, alas, these functions include farting, burping, and- get this- sneezing ABOVE the pitch of a kitten! So, as women are humans and humans complete bodily functions, there is going to be a point when a woman will fart or burp in front of you or maybe even sneeze above kitten level sneezes.
DISCLAIMER: PLEASE NOTE INTENSE SARCASM.
Ok, so yeah. There's that. Peace.
Oh, and tell me if you want me to out diary entries in here, because I can do that. (I mean, I'll just change the names of people and shit). Ok, bye!
-Aria
YOU ARE READING
RANDOM (For Your Enjoyment)
HumorThese are short awkward moments/rants/whatever. Maybe even short stories. Who knows. Ooh. I'm mysterious. Ok, bye.
