𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐒 | 𝐋.𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍

𝟑𝟖 | 𝐒𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐖𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞

*

We later joined and regrouped with the rest of the Survey Corps, as Mikasa was relieved that Eren was alright. A few wagons were ready, as many of the soldiers began to collect the many bodies that were sacrificed. Being relatively safe for the time being, squad leaders and men and women began to count each other to list how many casualties there were, and only injured.

With everything happening rather quickly, I tried to cover my pain knowing there were seriously wounded soldiers.

Black dots were filling my vision for a moment, before my eyes can see clearly. Fading in and out was feeling like I was floating, not hearing what's going on around me. With Eren's body retrieved, that was all we needed before we took off back to Karanes District.

The many bodies that were placed aligned before, made my stomach churn.

The constant reminder no matter if we step outside these walls, blood will always be shed. My eyes rest painfully upon the four specific bodies, covered from head to toe. My lips purse into a thin line, knowing who's who beneath the blankets. My chest was painfully digging into my lung, trying to hold back a whimper. A sudden flash of their last moments, made my eyes slowly widen.

A trigger.....

My chest expands without my control, feeling myself choke on my air. My feet stumble back, while my teeth clench tightly. Something runs up my throat again, making my head lurch forward, covering my mouth. The metallic taste was unsettling, pulling my hand away to see blood painting my palm.

"Shit......."

Mourning and in constant pain wasn't helping my situation, but needless to say I didn't want others to worry. However I need Hanji, or someone to aid me once we get back. Right now wasn't the time, as Levi was quietly in pain. Physically and emotionally. He was in more pain than i could imagine, not sure what was going on in his mind right now. He didn't have to tell me, and I was willing to wait.

Wiping the blood against my clothes I couldn't care less, as blood rolled down my forehead and spots that were cut in the process. Presence soon greets beside me, turning to see Levi's eyes resting on the four soldiers.

It was the same expression when he lost Isabel and farlan, it was painful to see.

Words could not comprehend how I felt, especially when Levi placed all his trust in me with his squad. Eld, Gunther, Oluo, Petra........I'm sorry, it was all my fault and responsibility.

Why did Erwin make me become Corporal? I wasn't worth my title......

Levi bends down while grimacing with his ankle, peeling the blanket off ripping the patches off. One by one, the symbols made me feel sick. Levi's eyes were empty, while others couldn't see the sadness, I saw it clearly. He couldn't fool me, and I wouldn't let him. Placing a hand on his shoulder, I squeeze it gently while feeling his body tense up a little, warming up to my touch.

"I'm sorry," my voice cracks, holding back the tears that threatened to fall.

He soon pushes himself back to his feet quietly while holding the patches, eyes still resting upon his fallen soldiers. They all risked their lives, only for this damn mission to fail. They trusted in us, those four held dreams that I knew they grew excited for. For a better future, gambling their lives for something that might or might not come true.

His other hand rests on top of mine, before quietly meeting my glassy eyes.

"We can't go back,"

Those words made my chest tighten more, knowing we can't go to the past and predict everything again. Our lives were only temporary, limited even. We couldn't fix everything, I couldn't fix everything. We lied to them about the mission, lied about Erwin's hunch. Eren was also in the dark, and still got pissed because we couldn't do anything but follow orders.