where is my mind: dead poets society

meeting at night (neil perry)

inspired by meeting at night by robert browning

the grey sea and the long black land ;
and the yellow half-moon large and low ;
and the startled little waves that leap
in fiery ringlets from their sleep,
as i gain the cove with pushing prow,
and quench its speed i' the slushy sand.

then a mile of warm sea-scented beach ;
three fields to cross till a farm appears ;
a tap at the pane, the quick sharp scratch
and blue spurt of a lighted match,
and a voice less loud, thro' its joys and fears,
than the two hearts beating each to each !

~~

neil and you had not been close with each other lately. his father insisted that he focus intently on his studies as exams were coming up and he expected neil to get high grades. the only times you saw one another were either in class or during meals. on thursday afternoon you sat in your dorm on your bed feeling rather sad, or morose, as one might say. you knew neil had studies to do, but why couldn't he make a little time for you? you felt selfish thinking this as you knew what would happen if neil didn't succeed in his exams, but you thought it all the same. you looked out your window, it was almost december and the world seemed bleak and cold.

then, a knock sounded at your door. you pricked your head around and got off of your bed. it could just be your roommate, although she usually didn't knock. you opened the door, and behold, neil stood with a sheepish smile and a knitted sweater in his hands. neither of you waited to say anything but engulfed each other in a hug. oh, how good it felt in that moment to be held! after almost a minute you broke apart and neil gripped your arms.

"i missed you." you said with a faint smile. "oh, i've missed you so much y/n." neil replied. "i'm regretfully sorry i haven't been spending time with you lately, it's just my father and the exams coming up..." neil trailed off. "neil, it's ok, i understand." you assured him. "anyways, i came up here to see if you wanted to sneak out tonight, just you and me, no one else. just for a bit, you know." he said said gently with a shy demeanour.

you felt a wave of bliss come over your body at this proposal. "oh neil, of course! i'd love to!" neil smiled at your eagerness. "well, i'll drop by here at 9. hopefully your roommate won't mind?" "not at all, i assume." neil smiled that beautiful neil smile and turned around, and walked a few paces when he turned back in a flash and came back to you. "i forgot, here, if you want." he handed you the green knitted sweater that he has brought. "thank you, neil." you appreciated his thoughtfulness immensely. "everyone deserves a neil" you thought.

the passing hours seemed slow. you studied a bit more, and then went to dinner. a rather unfortunate dinner, your least favourite meal was served and charlie wouldn't stop making terrible puns the whole dinner, making the dead poets shake their heads and cringe. one time when he was trying to demonstrate a joke he knocked over todd's water, making todd want to simply melt into the ground. as much as you liked charlie, you wished for goodness sake that he'd stop.

finally dinner came to an end, and before you knew it it was almost 9 and neil had just arrived with blanket and a lantern. you put on your coat, gloves, and hat. you and neil greeted each other with a warm smile and then as discreetly as possible left the dorm and snuck out. once you finally left the building you both let out a gurgle of laughter. "come here!" said neil as he held out his hand for you to hold.

he dragged you along whilst running for a minute and then came to a tree to sit under. he spread out the blanket and you both laid down on it. it was cold out, but as long as you were with him, you didn't mind. you and neil reminisced on recent events, sharing laughter and thoughts, with the occasional kiss on the forehead or cheek every now and then. "oh, y/n. i was reading shakespeare's sonnets today and i saw one that i found beautiful. would you like me to read it to you?" "i'd love for you to neil." that boy loved his shakespeare, didn't he? neil flipped through his sonnets book and finally landed on the right one. he cleared his throat and began.

    "No longer mourn for me when I am dead,
                                                          Than you shall hear the sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay if you read this line, remember not,
The hand that writ it, for I love you so,
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot,
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O if (I say) you look upon this verse,
When I (perhaps) compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse;
But let your love even with my life decay.
                Lest the wise world should look into your moan,
    And mock you with me after I am gone."

"neil, that's very beautiful. but i hope you never die, just you reading that pained me a bit in the heart." you said with a tint of sorrow in your voice. "well fortunate for you darling, i don't plan on dying anytime soon." neil said as he smiled and captured you in a big hug. you sighed. you had missed this.

"look y/n, the moon." you looked up to the sky and saw a half-moon. "you've always reminded me of the moon, y/n." "how?" "just you. you're beautiful, graceful, everything." "i could say the same thing about you neil."

"y/n, do you want to spend your whole life with me?" "forever and ever, neil." "that's what i want too." neil stated. "you know, you and me when we're older. maybe we'll move to a beach near a forest. i've always loved the smell of the sea, the feeling of sand beneath your feet..." "as you wish, my love."

"everyone deserves a neil." you thought for the second time that day.

a/n: HI i'm back from the dead 🎉🎉 i don't know if i like this but oh well haha. neil's so great i love him <3 also my writing is so choppy why JHBDJDHSNJA anyways thanks for reading i love you all 💞💖🫶