Lost Hope ✔️

Ch. 14 Summer's End

Drift’s P.O.V.
Nothing changed in the past three days. Watching Jamie eat very little and how much she sleeps still worries us. Doesn’t matter if Ratchet already did a health exam and found nothing. I don’t know if there’s anything minor that would cause this behavior, so maybe it’s a good thing Ratchet found nothing. All I can think of are things worse than depression. I also worry about Crosshairs. I believe he had an anxiety attack. Crosshairs still stays quiet. I shouldn’t be worried about causing an argument with him, but I am. That’s all we need for Jamie to watch us argue. 

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
“Well?” Sunstreaker asks.
“What? There’s nothing else to add.”
“Uh, yeah, you won’t tell Drift. You’re just adding to his list of things to worry about,” Sideswipe argues, “worried how long before you can’t hide how your feeling anymore, and if Jamie sees you having an anxiety attack.”
The two argue they’ll watch Jamie — who should stay asleep — while I talk to Drift.

Drift is oddly worried when Sunstreaker said we need to talk while he and Sideswipe watch Jamie. Yet he’s the one worried about me. This is troubling if he’s thinking we’re going to argue. 
Unfortunately, we’re having to talk in the hallway.

“How can you think I’m going to yell at you?” I ask, “I don’t want you to worry about me—.”
“But I am Crosshairs. Not just because it’s going to be a disaster if Jamie sees you upset. You’re the one who says the three of us are like a family. Even if that’s not what you were thinking, you’re still my friend and I worry about you. I hate you say nothing. You are not helping me by not talking to me.”
I don’t know what to say as I hug him. We sit on the floor by our room for a few minutes before going back into our room.

We talk about going to the beach today with the twins, which turns into worrying about Jamie’s mental health.
“I hate how this is going to be a long process,” Sideswipe sighs.
“Even to get her like before you three left,” Sunstreaker adds, “which wasn’t great, but better than this.”
The twins don’t stay long. All we can do is hope the plan for today doesn’t change.
I lay on my bed while Drift lays with Jamie.
I can’t bring up checking Jamie’s weight or a G-tube. I don’t want to talk about it, but we know Jamie can become seriously ill if we don’t get her to eat more often and enough.

I wait until Jamie is awake to make breakfast even tho it’s almost lunchtime. Like I thought four days ago, Jamie doesn’t eat much that she and Drift share a plate. Which is two pancakes and four strips of bacon.
We know bacon isn’t good daily, though I question if it’s fine due to how little Jamie eats.

Drift’s P.O.V.
We need to get Jamie out more, but I’m thinking with a few friends for now even though it’s ten-thirty and the cafeteria should be empty. As I wait for Jamie to be done in the bathroom — worried I should watch her after what Jayce did — Ratchet texts me, worried about Jamie’s weight. 
One time it’s good that our holoforms’ eyes can scan like our optics can. Though I haven’t scanned Jamie for a weight in weeks. He says he’ll do it when we bring Jamie to the lounge room. Adding that he’s hoping to spend time with Jamie. Aware it’s not a good time for Audrey or Jasmine to be with him. I can’t tell them the secret, but I can’t keep the Audrey and the Lennox twins away from Jamie. Why can’t this be something easy to deal with?
Jamie comes out of the bathroom, dressed, and lies on the bed. I lay on the bed with her, hating the tears.
“Shh, it’s ok.”
I don’t know what else to say. Even if Jamie will listen to me without thinking what I’m saying is scrap, it will not help her much at this point.

Sunstreaker’s P.O.V.
I worry about forcing Jamie to do anything even if it’s considered good for someone struggling with depression. I told Drift he can watch movies instead all afternoon. As I watch Drift carry Jamie down the beach to the spot Sideswipe, Lily, and I set up; I realize plans should have been canceled. it’s fine if there’s no swimming, but I worry if Jamie is going to cannot relax.
I’m thinking this was too soon, Sunstreaker. Sideswipe says.
We might leave earlier than we thought, but she needs to get out of the base. It'll be the last chance for a beach day.
I worry about how long Jamie will be ok before it’s time to leave.
“I don’t like this, Sunstreaker,” Lily whispers, looking at Jamie and her guardians, “how long before she tries again?”
I do not know what to say. Lily knows how Jamie got away from her guardians, and there’s nothing we can do to prevent that.
I’m hoping to distract her — for now. I got a few pool floats from Cade and Vivian.
Lily, Sideswipe, and I go into the water, hoping our friends will join us.

Twenty minutes pass before they get into the water. Drift carrying Jamie. He wouldn’t force her, but it’s good she’s small enough for him to carry. Sideswipe gives them the inner tube he was using. The tube is thick enough to rest arms. Comfortably, or in this case, Jamie can rest her head. Crosshairs and Drift are concerned about this behavior, but Drift moves the tube around in the water.
I don’t know if I should tell the two to take Jamie back to the base.
You don’t think she’s sick with something serious? Sideswipe asks.
You know Crosshairs and Drift would take her to Ratchet if they suspected something serious. I mean this is serious, but there’s nothing Ratchet can do.
This is scary. I hate not being able to help them. We’re helping Crosshairs, but not much.
No one likes this. All we can do is hope Jamie will do better soon. I think today is the best we’ll get for a while.  Today was a little better but still scrap.