Lost Hope ✔️

Ch. 29 Things Wil Get Worse

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
The past sixteen days have been better than the last six months. Drift and I don’t think we can say Jamie is doing better for a while. Even though she’s been happy playing video games. The only issue is her terrible eating habits, and the holidays coming up. Though Jamie still struggles mentally being here, Drift and I know she’d be struggling more being home in her dimension. We’re not looking forward to going back to her dimension. We’ll likely be staying there until the new year.
“Can I come?” Sunstreaker asks.
“Hell no. You wouldn’t be helping. Believe me, we’d love to lecture Jamie’s family, but considering how they treat her while she tries to communicate, it will not go well.”
“I’ll stay at her base. I’m not staying here knowing she’ll be upset.”
“No, it’s better if it’s just me and Drift with her.”
Sunstreaker sighs and walks away. I go back into my room.

Drift doesn’t bother hiding how he’s not looking forward to going back to Jamie’s dimension as he packs up his suitcase. Jamie is distracted with playing a computer game and listening to music with headphones.
“It’s bad when we know her mental health is going to get worse,” Drift sighs, “even if she wasn’t doing good to begin with.”
All I can do is hug him. This is when I question why having the same conversations is a good thing.

Drift’s P.O.V.
I know this is going to be a disaster. I’m so tired of watching Jamie hurt mentally, Crosshairs trying to hide how he’s feeling until he no longer can. I hate thinking we can’t make Jamie happy.
“We’ll take care of her,” Crosshairs says as he makes me look at him, “hopefully we can help her get in a better state mentally sooner than later. Even if it’s getting her mental state back to how she was last year.”
He hugs me before going to get lunch. Jamie is still distracted with her game. It’s what’s been helping her. I know it’s not the best and we should get her to do some workouts, but we just want to make her happy right now. Though Jamie likes working out, I don’t think she will right now even if she’s working out with Sunstreaker.

Jamie is not happy to be going back to her dimension as if she was told we can’t come back here until she’s doing better mentally and that’ll take months. It’s bad she doesn’t want to go home. I don’t think bringing up her pets will help. Glad for now the pets don’t end up neglected when Jamie is away.
I hate how this ruined the day. At least she’s eating. We didn’t think Sunstreaker would come by.
“Uh... bad timing?”
“Depends on what you want to do,” I tell him.
“A workout,” he says. I nod, letting him come in. He crouches down and takes Jamie’s hand, “you want to workout with me?”
I was hoping she’d say something, but she only nods. She’s already dressed. She puts her boots on and the two leave.
I sigh, frustrated, “hard to be happy she agreed when she’s not talking.”
“She’s afraid to. It’s concerning the scrap she deals with has been affecting her here for months now!”
I don’t know why my chosen action is to  pull Crosshairs to his knees and hug him.
He will not change easily and talk about his feelings before he reaches this point. I see sadness on his face, but I’m having a hard time, so I do not know what to say.

Sunstreaker’s P.O.V.
Jamie agreed to come with me, but her lack of effort is not like her. I see the sadness in her eyes and a lack of interest in anything.
Sunstreaker: I tried to get Jamie to work out with me, but she’s not even trying. I don’t know if a walk is wise.
Ratchet: she needs to get outside more. You better have Crosshairs and Drift come with you.
I was hoping to give them a break, as much as that is fragged up, but I know with how things are, they can’t stop worrying about Jamie. Especially with the damn holiday season. While I’m with Lily, Crosshairs, and Drift will watch Jamie hurt while with family.

The three of us take Jamie to the park, hoping to get a smile as she watches the ducks. She doesn’t want to sit by the pond like usual. The way she’s leaning on Drift concerns me and Crosshairs. This isn’t cuddling.
I didn’t think Crosshairs would decide he and I are going for a walk. Though even I know Drift would worry why we’re going for a walk rather than waiting until later to talk so he can be part of the conversation. Still, I think he suspects Crosshairs and I will be talking on our way to Panera Bread. At least the place isn’t far from the park.

“Any ideas?” I ask as we walk down the sidewalk.
“No,” Crosshairs says in a sad tone, “at least without forcing her to do anything. I’m happy I’ve been able to drop the conversation about putting a G-tube in.”
“Which is good, but not when she can relapse.”
“And we’re used to that, but she was doing well, and we’ve never seen her like this.”
“I hate not being able to help her, to help them. I don’t know if thinking we’re family is making this feeling worse or not.”
“No, everyone who knows Jamie is worried about her and hating there’s not much they can do. I know Lily, Sideswipe, and I are lucky to help you and Drift.”
“It’s not enough and I hate it!”
He’s struggling to hide how he’s feeling. The period he’s able to hide them is getting smaller every day.
Thankfully, there’s a bench by us. I have Crosshairs sit down.
“Calm down, everyone wants to keep her safe. She’ll be ok.”
Damn it, there’s got to be other things to say that’s not giving false hope. Bad enough there’s not much anybot can do to help these three, and the feeling of things won’t get better any time soon.