Lost Hope ✔️

Ch. 27 Breaking Point

Drift’s P.O.V.
It was a rough day yesterday, and it’s hard not to think today is going to be the same. I can’t stop thinking Jamie is angry at me. I’m the one she loves. Like I told Optimus, we haven’t actually talked about this. Jamie only cries and I don’t know if she knows Crosshairs, and I overheard that conversation with her mom last year. I wanted her to talk to me, but I now wonder if she was hoping I overheard the conversation, so I’d bring it up.  I don’t think now is the time. 
“You should talk to Rung,” Crosshairs insists.
“No, what’s he going to do even if I tell him everything? Optimus knows and can’t help.”
Crosshairs sits on the bed and hugs me. He knows everything, and I know he’s thinking like Optimus; he wants to help, but there’s nothing he can do to help the problems that need to be dealt with. Like I already told Crosshairs, I don’t think we’ll ever see Jamie happy again. Being friends with her isn’t enough. She’s been staying here since July. I thought we’d see her do a little better, but it’s to where it doesn’t matter where she is. Here is a little better than at home, but not as we want things to be.

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
I still can’t believe how bad things have gotten in the past year. Even with everything, Drift was doing ok until three months ago. I need to be worried about helping him and Jamie rather than figuring out how he lasted this long with everything we’ve watched Jamie go through. The nightmare situation was the only time I’ve seen him fall apart.

Neither of us know how to think about Jamie wanting pancakes for breakfast. It’s rare she’s hungry right when she wakes up. With Jamie, there’s a chance she has a good day after struggling for a while, then there’s the beginning of doing better for a while. Her mental health is complicated, and it’s hard to know if we should think she’s doing better. Then there’s the question of how long before she’s struggling again once Jamie is doing better for more than a day?

Many are happy to see Jamie came to the cafeteria with us. Drift stays with Jamie, Sideswipe and Lily. 
“So?” Sunstreaker asks.
“Today might be a good day, but you know how this goes,” I sigh.
Sunstreaker nods, “I worry about how Drift is this time along with how long will Jamie be struggling considering why she’s struggling. I hate there’s not much we can do to help either of them.”
The way Sunstreaker is talking has me worrying about him. I doubt he’d admit how worried he is. We’re lucky he’s not hiding how worried he is while yelling at me for doing the same. We finish what we were doing in the kitchen and head to the table.

“....play video games?” We hear Lily.
“No surprise,” Sunstreaker sighs.
We sit at the table, and Lily looks at Sunstreaker like she’s in trouble. I know she’s trying to help, but she’s not understanding we need to be careful. Even Drift is careful while encouraging Jamie.

“I fear this is going to be an issue for months,” Sunstreaker sighs as our friends go to the lounge room, “just to get her to be a little better. I’ve even noticed Optimus has been more troubled than the last ten months. Even while you three were in Jamie’s dimension.”
“It’s getting harder to take care of her. Drift and I worry humans will argue we’re doing too much already. Have you seen what humans say about mental health?”
“Ugh, it’s disgusting! Lily says even here humans are disgusting and was hoping Jamie’s dimension would have been better. I don’t tell her everything Jamie deals with. I hate how complicated this is. Add how we’ll be dealing with this again, if we can help Jamie this time.”
Saying nothing more, I watch Sunstreaker head down the hall to the training room. He’s livid talking about this situation. He either needed to leave before finishing or doesn’t realize with Jamie’s age it’s more of a challenge to help her. Damn humans don’t get that. Another way they don’t understand mental health. Even Jamie’s own family.

I shouldn’t be away from the others for long, but I need to hide how I’m feeling. I go into the conference room, knowing there isn’t a meeting for another three hours.

Until I hear the door open and close five minutes after I sit at the table.
“Go away,” I tell them.
“Not when you’re like this,” I hear Lightning.
Five other femme voices agree as Lightning sits on the chair in front of me, and hug me.
Great, now they’re going to make me talk. They know there’s nothing they can do to help.

Drift’s P.O.V.
After what happened once in June, Crosshairs doesn’t dare take long if Jamie knows he’s somewhere else. Before that day, Jamie would have been ok with Crosshairs being somewhere else for a while. Heck, he and Lightning could go on a trip together and Jamie would be ok. Now it’s uncertain if she’ll be ok. I worry about both Jamie and Crosshairs.
It’s strange Sunstreaker isn’t here either.

Sunstreaker walks in a half-hour later. Only I see his concerned expression.
“You need to go find him,” Sunstreaker whispers, sounding concerned.
I don’t know if he and Sideswipe can handle Jamie if she sees both her guardians aren’t around, and Sunstreaker knows what he could end up dealing with. I doubt he and Crosshairs argued, but this is concerning. Jamie is doing better today but Crosshairs is struggling that he’s hiding somewhere.