It quickly gets to lunchtime, after an hour of dodging Hailee's constantly disappointed gaze, and LG texts to say she's downstairs, so I head down with my sunglasses on, jumping into the silver Audi R8.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Me: R8, nice. Lady Gaga: Merci, you ready? Me: Get me the fuck outta here.
She revs and drives off, driving up the coast as I stare out of the window.
Lady Gaga: How's your comedown? Me: I was a mess this morning, but I'm good considering. When did you get back home? Lady Gaga: I went home straight after dropping you off, I was gonna go anyway. How's your girlfriend? Me: I don't wanna talk about her. She's exhausting me today. Lady Gaga: That bad huh? Me: She's just...suffocating all the fucking time. Like literally making me lose my mind kind of suffocating. I know I'm a lot to deal with, it's not as if I don't know that, but it's like she doesn't understand me at all. Lady Gaga: You haven't told her anything about you, have you? Me: I haven't told anyone anything about me. That's the point. Lady Gaga: Maybe the element of mystery doesn't suit you as much as you think.
We arrive in Malibu, and pull into a driveway on the beach. It's LG's house. We hop out of the car and wander in the house, then upstairs after grabbing a few beers, into LG's studio.
Lady Gaga: Come over here.
She leads me out onto the beach facing balcony and I lean on the railing, letting the cold wind hit my face.
Lady Gaga: Nice right?
I don't say anything, just carry on looking out, until I eventually speak.
Me: When I was a kid, like 6 or something, I was adopted by these people. They sold me to...older guys. I wasn't alone, there were others, but nothing was done and I was moved to a different orphanage to just "cope". After that, I was in a crash where I had to learn to walk and talk again, I only learnt again when I was 8. Then when I was adopted by my parents now, it was the best thing in the world. My best friend became my sister. Lady Gaga: But nobody understands you. Me: But nobody understands me. And now I'm 15 and I want to do my own thing, I want to walk away from all of that but I can't, because nobody gets it enough to be able to have a proper discussion with me about it. Lady Gaga: Is that the first time you've told anyone outside of your parents?
I nod, then crack open my beer, taking a mouthful.
Me: And probably the only time I'll ever say it out loud, so feel privileged. Lady Gaga: Wanna know what I think? Me: Go on. Lady Gaga: I think that you're only 15, but when I first spoke to you yesterday I thought you were like mid 20's. Not for any reason other than that you act incredibly maturely for being 15. And now that makes sense, you've had to grow up very quickly, and probably for the most part, on your own. I'm guessing that's why you like being on your own? Me: You'd be correct. Which is probably why I'm terrible in relationships. I want the company on my own terms. Lady Gaga: What's so hard about telling Hailee? Me: How do you know I'm with Hailee? Lady Gaga: Paps made it obvious, but I mostly just hear things. Look, you're both still young. And she probably hasn't had to deal with what you've had to, so she's going to feel a lot more immature in a relationship than you. Me: Are you saying I need to be with someone older? Lady Gaga: No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that you need to have some patience and understanding that maybe she's not going to be able to communicate back certain things the way you're used to. I'm saying just go and be a kid for a while. I understand the want for self destruction, trust me, I've been there, but the way you're going, you're not going to last very long.
