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Forewarning Ahead: Sex will be in this chapter, but under these circumstances, this is rape. Just a warning.
"Mom?"
Kinsey held her breath as she crept around the corner of Max's bedroom, untouched, and rendered naked without her in it. Save for the vase of marigolds on Max's bedside that desperately tried to stay alive.
Like a phantom drifting in space, Mom didn't turn around or even show any sign of life that she was all there. Rather, her shoulders haunched over reminded Kins that all her passion and resolve to quit drinking died away the moment the police told her there was nothing to go by other then a poster of the girl with red hair and a knack for skateboarding by the woods. Mom couldn't help but feel this was all her fault. Without any urge to comb away her hair or change her clothes for days or even eat something other then her friendly fireball, the kids were forced to watch their mom fade away all over again.
Her whole penance for being there for them and being the mother they deserved became a grave of hopes.
Max was gone. No one knew where or why other then the night Dodge was killed so it couldn't be Dodge.
Tyler refused to believe Max had run away—Mom believed Max had a much worser fate then being the next milk carton child—Bode had hope that Max had just fled and was coming back—Kins knew something was wrong. Sometimes her worst fears would crawl into her mind when she got the faintest moment of peace—maggots eating her flesh, red hair peeling from her scalp, lively green eyes reduced to nothing but ashy embers forcibly void of any life or soul, somewhere in the woods, another body count to add to the tragic history of Matheson.
Funny thing was. . .
It was worse then losing someone to death. It was worse not knowing what happened. It was worse feeling aimless, knowing that whatever happened, it did. And the reason why continues to be a waking living reminder no one paid enough attention.
Someone had reason to put blame, and every reason to feel like their heart was heavier then their body, pulling them down. A fire torching their mind. A plague of thorns scraping at their nerves.
Whether it was Tyler, Mom, Bode, Kins, everyone didn't know what to do or say other then reciprocate that exhausting tug of guilt. Because no one thought to stop Max from leaving their sight, and mom would never know if her daughter was kidnapped or killed.
It was worse then knowing because at least when you knew, you could deal with it.
Missing posters of Max practically mocked the whole family everywhere they went—and it didn't stop from there.
