Why did I choose to write? Let's make a list as I find them very soothing and chaotic at the same time, don't make me explain how.
1. I have too many thoughts and too less space (read brain).
2. Future practise
3. A way to interact. As much as I adore the comments I just never felt seen ig? idk. That makes me sound narcissistic and shallow, but my opinions get washed up and swept away and the whole internalized pressure I feel about typing out something relevant but not pushy or unfashionable at the same time makes me break into sweat. That does no good to my skin.
A book, I feel is about my thoughts, and honestly I can't even keep a record of my comments so THIS IS THE JOURNAL. Where all of Thena's thoughts get materialized and flushed out. Now a physical journal, somewhere away from this devil-spawned place dubbed the Internet seems safe, but I find my family even scarier so..welp here goes.
I just feel like, lemme just:
"When I rant, I can't write and When I write, I can't rant."
Writing to me is something that means looking over your previous lines and going over them, worrying over the grammar and structure and what-not. And no swiggly red line, you're not helping my case at all. It is constructed thoughts put into concrete words.
Ranting or Rambling is just like the name suggests. Its random and vast like different branches going in and out and often sideways with no structure and no purpose. They are airy and I don't think about them after and definitely don't feel the need to analyze anything, even if said ramblings intend to be centered around the whole idea.
Also the said line also applies to real life as well, as I don't own a phone (the disinterest in social media being the culprit) and my writing tools are namely mine but not really. Like the lock screen has my name, but I don't know the password. Get it?
This makes me wonder, here I am typing away as if I if I someone's actually reading it, when all I have is 1 follower, but then again it's been like 20 days since I've joined? So, patience!
Also the looming doubt of oversharing or being over superficial hound me, so this just seems like a dead-weight sorta thing, even if I just started this today. I am a mad person.
Funny how something that feels momentarily so freeing can feel so suffocating after mere minutes?
That's it for this session.
YOU ARE READING
A Thousand Thots
HumorRemember the Water Cycle? I think life is similar to that and this is that very chronicle. From the fleeting thoughts to the revelations, all that in all this, a memory to look back on somewhere far away from confrontation, fear and worry. I revel i...
