𝐇𝐄'𝐈𝐈 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄⎟⎟ 𝖴𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗅𝖾

J o u r n a l

 𝐀 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍
(n) some people are pun masters, some, themselves, are just humorous puns
𑁍࿐ྂ

Sans grinned to himself as he scrolled through the replies under his new friends group, greeting him asking him so much questions. He really appreciate he's friends.

He wished he could answer them. Truthfully, at least. He would rather answer none than answer one with a lie. So, he turned off his phone and headed towards his bed, paps wouldn't consider it a bed when the room was super messy and the mattress was on the floor, but he was still waited for Papyrus to call him down stairs for dinner.

He decided to kill some time, he took his journal from the bookshelf, along with a pen, as he assured himself he knew how to write.

Hello paps

Who even says hello in a letter?

Uh good morning. . .

Too awkward. Do I just make this formal? Like Dear pap? Or do I just start writing wthatever I want?

Dear Papyrus,

The room is so cold and empty. Is it too
much for me to long for your warmth.

"Sans," the sound of Papyru's high pitched voice was enough to make him flinch, immediately reacting by tossing his journal under his pillow, sitting cross-legged on his bed. Papyrus laughs, placing his arms on his waist, "what was that?"

"What was what?"

"The book. Were you drawing something or?"

Sans shook his head a little, "no, I wasn't drawing, pap."

"Well, then. . . Can I see?"

Sans remained silent for a few seconds before finally looking up once more. "Yeah. Just. . . not right now.

"Oh," Papyrus jerks his head backwards, confused, "when can I see it then?"

Sans grin slowly fades away, and Papyrus had seemed to notice it too because now the two of them weren't smiling and was just suck in an uncomfortable silence.

"Soon bro." Sans replayed, breaking the awkward silence.

"Oh."

Papyrus continued standing by the door, dumbfounded. He didn't know what he was feeling. It was like a bunch of feelings mixed into a mixer and just thrown into his body. He didn't know how to put it into words but sometimes he wish he could lash out his anger, sadness and pain onto someone else.

Papyrus cleared his throat, "Un, the great Papyrus made you chicken soup, right from a cookbook too. Come down and eat Sans." Papyrus says, leaving the room almost immediately.

"Wait, bro?" Sans called out, but to no response, "I love you." He whispered softly, and on the other side of the door, all Papyrus could do was let out a forced smile before walking back down, not saying another word.

Sans felt so useless. So empty. Like the world had sucked the soul out of him. It was like he was just. . .grey.

He felt so, so worthless.

And Papyrus wasn't helping not even a little bit.

It wasn't anything negative that he did. Papyrus was perfect. In fact, paps was far from perfect and there was nothing or no one in the world that could ever replace his little baby bones. He was too good for this cruel world. And oh Lord, Sans was wrongfully Infatuated with him.

He felt so awful because he lied even worse.

He felt a little sicken the way he longed for him, desired him in a unhealthy ways.

He lied to Papyrus again. He wasn't afraid of needles or surgery that would require nurses poking though his skull. He wasn't afraid of the pills, either. What he hated was the hospital, but that wasn't the whole point. He didn't want the surgery because either way, he was still going to die a slow, painful death.

It was unfair to feel how he felt the very moment-rage pushing it's way towards the surface. He knew paps was trying. His little bro was always trying but the constant reminder of knowing that he couldn't expect much from Papyrus upsets him. Maybe he was selfish.

Maybe he was just afraid that his little baby bones would see him the way he sees himself and so Sans awaits, yet dreads the day Papyrus wakes up and thinks Sans isn't the great older brother he think he is.

And that scares him, he's so terrified of how Papyrus would react to his sick twisted desires.

Clicking

That burning feeling again.

It was hard to breathe, like there was no oxygen in the room. Coughing lightly turned into gulping for air, the red thick liquid that was in his palm of his hands.

And the piece of glowing insect wing was spotted, it looked like a butterfly wing but he couldn't say for sure.

YOURSMB SPEAKS :

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 Teddy bear 🐻