Mad Woman // Ned Stark // Petyr Baelish (2)

4. Umbridge

Alice took a bite then another.

''Not all of it!'' Rabbit declared as she passed it to petyr. He was about to take a bite when alice started to get very large. "Too late." Alice shot upward. Buttons flying off her torn garments, seams strain and give way. ''Oh no, stop! Don't do that!'' Rabbit muttered taking a step back.

They stared up at her as her tiny dress ripped and she stood a giant naked in front of them the shrubs blocking her body from the red queen.

Petyr covered neds eyes as though ned hadnt seen alice naked before. Ned swatted his hand away. 

Alice looked down at the Red Queen and her courtiers. The tall bushes hide all but her head and shoulders. Everyone stared back at her, suddenly very, very tall.

"And WHAT is this?" The red queen demanded, eyes wide as she stared at Alice. Alice glanced down at Petyr and Ned awkwardly. The White Rabbit ran out of the bushes, improvising like a mad man.

"It's a "who", Majesty. This is...um," Rabbit began as his lips contemplated.

"Um?" The red queen countered incredulously.

"From Umbridge." Alice offered.

"What happened to your garments?" The red queen questioned and Alice cleared her throat.

"I outgrew them." Alice remarked innocently. "I tower over everyone in Umbridge. They laugh at me." Alice remarked. "So I've come to you, hoping you might understand what it's like."

"My dear girl." The red queen declared. "Anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court." she assured and Alice could breathe again. The courtiers with their equally out-size body parts laughed out joyously.

" SOMEONE FIND HER SOME CLOTHES! USE THE DRAPERIES IF YOU MUST BUT CLOTHE THIS ENORMOUS GIRL!" The red queen shouted back at her people before looking to Alice. "You'll be my new favorite." The Courtiers exchange competitive glances, before glaring up at Alice. 

 Large Alice, clad in hastily constructed garments, proceeds with the Queen down the great hall toward the throne room. 

Ned and petyr held tight to alices dress as she walked in. 

Along with the Footfrogs, monkeys held up tables and chairs with their arms and heads. Exhausted bids were flapping their wings to stay aloft with lamps hung from their beaks. The Queen plopped down on her bejeweled throne. Monkeys serve as legs of the throne. They strained under the weight. The Queen kicked off her shoes lifting her leg before declaring.

"I need a pig here!" A small pig hurried over and lay down belly up. She puts her feet on his belly and sighed happily.

"I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet." She remarked, Alice stood, still awkwardly tall in the room. ''Sit! Sit!'' Alice glanced down at the monkeys hold the chair, she didn't want to squish them. "SIT." The red queen demanded. Alice sat, trying to keep her weight off the chair held up by monkeys. The Queen waved her hand at the three Courtiers. "Go away." She demanded. The Courtiers left but not before shooting jealous looks at Alice.

"Where are my Fatboys? You must meet them! Fatboys!" The red queen shouted. Alice thought she might lose her hearing with all the shouting the red queen did. She looked to Ned and Petyr. Petyr leaned up against her foot as he peered out. Amazed at this world and the things.

Alice had told him but seeing and hearing were very different. Now that he was here he couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing. The Tweedles came in. They're bound together by a gold belt around their waists. Their faces have been painted and powdered with hearts on their cheeks and red heart lips. Their eyes are lowered, Alice saw their sadness.

"There they are! Aren't they adorable? And they have the oddest way of speaking. Speak boys. Amuse us." Red queen demanded as she kicked Tweedledum. "Speak!'' Dum lifted his eyes and saw Alice. He nudged Dee.

"Is that being...?" Dum began softly. Alice lifted a discreet finger to her lips.

"No, it isn't. Not a bit." Dee assured But Tweedledum didn't see Alice's gesture.

"Contrariwise, I believe it is so..." Dum offered

"No! It ain't so. Nohow!" Dee demanded. He stomped on Dum's foot to silence him. Dum pinched him back annoyed. Dee pinched him back. The Queen cackled out joyously.

"I love my Fatboys. Now get out." She demanded. They kept glancing back at Alice as she focused on her feet, that was close, plans almost ruined before it ever really got started. The Queen blinked her eyes seductively at Knave of hearts as he entered. Knave repressed a shudder.

"There you are, Knave. Any luck with the prisoner?" She asked sweetly.

"He's stubborn." Knave remarked stiffly.

"You're too soft. Bring him!" Red queen demanded. The Knights marched off as Knave glanced to Alice, looking her over.

"And who is this lovely creature?" Knave asked and Alice glanced away not knowing if he knew the prophecy.

"Um, my new favorite." Red queen informed him.

"Does she have a name?" Knave countered, his gaze harsh upon Alice. Petyr didn't like being so little he could not do a thing to help Alice at this size.

"Um." Red queen answered

"Yes? Her name?" Knave pressed

"It's Um!" She declared annoyed that he wasn't listening.

"I believe your name has slipped the Queen's mind." Knave offered but the red queen smacked him upside the head.

"Her name is UM, you dolt!" She spat. The Knave reacted with smoldering anger as he looked between Alice and the queen.

"From Umbridge." Alice offered softly.

"Ilosovic Knave, at your service." He declared as he kissed her hand. She pulled it away quickly though.

"I don't like the look of the knave." Ned remarked.

"Be my guest to go out there and get squished." Petyr countered.

"Are you not mad?" Ned countered.

"I'm barely 6 inches." Petyr countered. "I'm fuming, that Alice has to deal with all this alone and I'm finally here and I can't help my wife!" Petyr countered. "I don't need you bossing me around and telling me how I should feel. I've been with Alice, I have listened to her dreams of wonderland and now I am starting to think none of it was ever a dream. I'm losing my fucking mind." Petyr spat giving Ned a shove.

"Yet you came and got me at Alice's request." Ned remarked.

"I would do anything for her." Petyr informed him. "I got you out, keeping you alive in wonderland was never part Alice's request though."

The guards dragged the Hatter in, chained by hands and feet, it caught Ned and Petyr's attention as well as Alice's foot twisting on the ground anxiously causing them to stumble over. The Queen lifted his head by his hair. Alice stifled a gasp as she let out a shaky breath. He's been roughed up. His eyes held an empty and distant stare.

"We know Alice has returned to Underland. Do you know where she is?" The red queen demanded. He doesn't respond though. She clapped her hands in front of his face. Hatter jerked back but still didnt see Alice.

"I've been considering things that begin with the letter "m"," Hatter informed her "moron, mutiny, murder, malice..." Hatter remarked.

"Were looking for an "A" word now. Where is Alice?" Red queen demanded. He thought hard, faked inspiration, changed his mind, reconsidered it, mulled it over, Alice watched his face change from smiles to frowns to a furrowed brow, then he shrugged.

"I wouldn't know." Hatter remarked.

"What if I take off your head, will you know then?"