The Black Reaper's Shadow

7. First Impressions

Chapter 7

     I woke in a cold sweat around four in the morning. The nightmares were getting worse. I was stuck in my doll state and I couldn't seem to force my way back out again. Getting out of bed, I went to sit on the couch as images from my nightmare continued to haunt me. A woman and her child. A man from a poor part of town. A teenage contractor boy from a broken home. Every one of them had gone against the Syndicate at some point and I had been forced to kill them. I could feel the glow in my eyes as I hugged my knees to my chest, trying to surface and push the doll state back.

     Hei's voice made my body tense as he came from the kitchen, wearing his bulletproof coat and holding his mask in his hand. The kitchen window behind him was open, letting in a cool nighttime breeze as he came to kneel in front of me with concern. He examined my eyes, "Marie, did you have a nightmare about your past?"

     I nodded and spoke through my monotone, "I have them every night. However, tonight is different. I woke up in my doll state and now I cannot get out. Help me."

     He set his hand on my cheek and smiled, "Just calm down and let it go. Only focus on the here and now. Forget about what happened. Keep your eyes on who you want to be and chose to move on as a completely new person. May 13 doesn't exist anymore. You are Marie."

     The emotionless cloak fell away and I teared up before wrapping my arms around Hei's neck, "I'm so scared. How can I just let all of that go after how much pain I've caused?"

     He pat the back of my head, "You can't change the past, Kiddo, so you just have to accept that fact and move on. You cannot undo what May 13 has done. Now that she's gone, you can start with a clean slate as the kind-hearted girl you are, Marie. Do what you want with this life because it's all your own."

     I calmed down, "Could you come with me to the station today around noon, just to walk me there?"

     He nodded, "Of course."

     I wiped my eyes as I let him go, "Hei, why are you in your Reaper uniform?"

     He smiled with amusement, "I didn't kill anyone, don't worry. I was just checking on certain folks that I'm concerned about. Some contractors haven't done anything wrong yet, but they're planning something in the dark. I won't intervene unless they actually make a move that puts innocent humans at risk. I can't help humans who go looking for trouble, but I will step in if a contractor tries to attack a cop on their off time or someone just walking down the street. If you pick a fight with a contractor, be prepared to face the consequences for it because I know when not to get involved."

     I took a deep breath, "Okay."

     He stood to go put away his things and I spoke quietly to keep from waking anyone, "Hei?"

     Opening the closet beside the apartment door, he looked back at me while slipping his coat onto a hanger, "Yes?"

     I hesitated, "Could I still come over for those family nights you do? I liked it. They seem like a good way to relieve stress and..."

     He came back over to the couch and pulled me to my feet before wrapping me tightly in his arms, "Of course you can, Kiddo. I would be glad to have you join us. Come by anytime you need us."

     I hugged him back, "Thanks, Hei."

                                                           ******

     Hei and I rounded the corner and saw the front door to the police station. He kept a gentle hold on my hand as we crossed the street and stopped at the bench off to the side of the entrance. Hei set my backpack down and gave my shoulder a small squeeze, "You'll be okay, right?"