You vs. My Whole Life | Bang Chan

My Pace

On the day before my first mission, Chan visited me in my room. It was noon when he knocked on the door and let himself in. I had just taken a shower after my training session with Minho.

"Hey."

"Hi." 

He gave me an unsure smile and took a deep breath.

"Sometimes I hate how much of a fair person I am..." Chan mumbled and I figured he was talking about the voting. "Are you absolutely sure you're ready and want to do this?"

No.

I am not ready.

"Yes."

He didn't look pleased with my answer, hoping for a different one. After a few seconds he nodded in agreement. 

"This is for you" he put a black paper bag onto my bed. "Sana helped to pick it out. Hyunjin bought it. It's not like you have to wear this tonight, but..."

"I'll wear it" I immediately replied and he smiled.

"Thank you. Do you have any further questions about tonight?" Chan crossed his arms and looked at me in expectance. 

"Well, what's my mission?" 

His expression darkened and he sighed. "I was planning on taking you with me so I can protect you but that's too obvious and if Taeyeong is there I need to keep my eyes on him. So instead you'll stay with Minho and Jisung at all times, understood?"

"Ok".

He nodded. "If anything happens, you get into trouble or somebody wants to start something you immediately search for any of us. I know that Sana is your friend and I would consider Yeji the same and I'm sure they would help you out but they shouldn't. You're my responsibility now". 

He sounded so possessive that I raised an eyebrow in surprise. 

"Not like that. You're just one of us now and that makes you my responsibility."

Right.

"Anything else I need to do or know?" I asked.

"I have only told you the bare minimum about our allies and enemies so far." He sat onto my bed  and continued. 

"We don't have the time to talk about the details but you need the most important information to manage. There's different signature colors for the different gangs. Which is why," he pointed to the bag on my bed "this contains a red dress. Our color to recognize is red. Sana and Yeji, though in different gangs will be wearing something pink." Sana and Yeji were allies. I knew that much. 

Pink is friendly.

"I'm not too sure who will show up, but if the many members of NCT decide to come, you'll know them because they will wear something neon green. Don't let them fool you, even if they're being nice to you. They're far more skilled and experienced than you- actually it'd be the best if you don't talk to them at all."

Green is dangerous. 

"If you have any doubts, you can still quit" he said when he saw my expression. 

I quickly shook my head. 

"No, I want to come along. Jisung told me that it wouldn't be that dangerous since all of you are there and it's a neutral party".

He stood up from my bed and walked towards my door slowly, deep in thought. Then he turned back around to me.

"Don't let your guard down, Y/N". 

When he left the room I decided to open up the bag he brought, pulling out a beautiful red dress.  I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror. It did fit almost perfectly, just a little short for my liking, ending right under my butt. Black heels were what was inside the bag along with the dress.

The dress showed off the bruises on my legs I had acquired from training with Minho, but it didn't look too bad. Just a few green and purple shadows you could see if you looked closely. 

Another knock on the door pulled me out of my self conscious thoughts.

"Hey, just wanted to see if everything fit- wow" Hyunjin stammered, looking me up and down. 

"It does, it's a little short but other than that" I laughed awkwardly and he shook his head.

"No, Y/N it's supposed to be like that. Has nobody told you?" 

Told me what exactly?

He put his elbow up, leaning himself against my door frame. "You're gonna be in a room full of mostly guys, so part of your mission is to be a distraction".

Oh god.

"So my mission is to dress slutty?" I asked sarcastically and Hyunjin laughed.

"We could put you in a sack and you'd be distracting. They're gonna stare at you anyway, you're new, they've heard the rumors, whatever it might be. I'm just making sure they're gonna stare at you a little longer". 

My knitted eyebrows didn't please him so he added "Don't worry, Sana & Yeji will play the same tactic."

"Why hasn't Chan told me? He visited me earlier to talk about the mission but he didn't mention that I was gonna distract" I put special emphasis on the last word.

"Maybe he forgot" Hyunjin said, not even believing his statement himself. "Or he just doesn't want you to feel, how did you put it 'slutty'?"

Once the clock struck 6pm, I heard another faint knock on my door. 

"Come in".

Changbin slightly opened the door but didn't enter my room. I was now in my assigned uniform with my hair brushed back and some makeup on. 

"I'm here to come get you for the mission". I nodded and followed him along the hallway.

"Changbin?" I called his name as we came to a halt. He turned his gaze towards me but I didn't say anything.

"Are you scared, Y/N?" his concerned eyes followed my nodding head. I couldn't even voice my fears.

"It's stupid, I know-" I rambled instead.

"It's not actually".

What?

He smiled at me softly. "You think I'm not scared? All of us are scared shitless."

Even Chan?

"Especially Chan" he added as if he could read my mind. "He has all of us to protect and now you as well. I know for a fact that nothing will happen to me or you so there's no need to worry about ourselves. But if anything goes wrong, it's gonna be Chan that gets hurt. Physically, mentally- doesn't matter. It's him I'm worried about". He shook his head to get rid of the topic. 

"Anyways, it's not stupid. I think you're brave" he tried to smile again. "And you look stunning".

I smiled slightly at his compliment when he opened the door to his van.

When I entered, all of the boys were already inside, starring at me while I was pulling down my dress so it wouldn't ride up my legs when I sat down. 

Changbin started the engine and Chan took my hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze in an unsuccessful attempt to calm me down. 

My heart was beating out of my chest and I didn't know if it was because I was about to go on my first dangerous mission or because the cute equally as dangerous boy next to me was holding my hand. 

"Ready?" he asked and the corner of his mouth lifted up into a smile.

"Ready" I whispered.