You vs. My Whole Life | Bang Chan

Piece of a Puzzle

The confirmation I found in his eyes hurt although I had already figured it out myself. My best friend betrayed me, stabbed me in the back and left the knife there. She helped the enemy. 

And I needed to know why.

"You said you'd be honest" I tried my best not to let the hurt show in my voice. 

Sana wouldn't do this. 

She couldn't have. 

Could she?

He nodded. "It's not because I'm a bad liar by the way". He smiled slightly. "I just don't see the point in lying".

Where are we going? What does Taeyong want from me? Are you going to hurt me? 

"Did you keep your end of the deal and leave them alone?" I asked, choosing the first of the million questions in my head. 

"Of course, I'm a man of my words. All of them are safe and sound". 

Thank god. I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I was holding. 

"Sana-" I wasn't even able to form a question. Why? My head was screaming at me, the knife in my back twisting at the mention of her name.

"She's safe." I looked up at him in surprise. That was not what I wanted to know, relief washing over me anyways. And I got even more surprised when I met his eyes.

Johnny Suh seemed to be way more relieved at his statement than I was.

"Why would she help you- why would she betray me like that?" My voice got louder with each word, frustration showing. He just shook his head in response, staying quiet. 

"She's my best friend. What the fuck did you do to her? Did you threaten her?" I was yelling at this point, his eyes widened.

"No! God no-" he shook his head harder, as if it was completely absurd to assume.

She didn't want me to get involved in this world. She was my protector. She wouldn't.

"You're lying! She didn't help you!" I didn't even believe my own words. I knew she had helped him at this point. My mind knew. But my heart wouldn't accept it.

"Please calm down. I'll tell you if you just sit down and stay calm", he argued with me like I was a child. And since I had just jumped up, trying to get away from him I sure was acting like one. Defeated I sat myself down on the opposite side of him.

"The plan was to destroy your alliance and kill most of you. Including Sana and you." My heart dropped when he started to explain. "I obviously couldn't let that happen." 

My mind went back to the time Yeji, Sana and I sat on my bed in room 19 to talk about their gangs and Sanas association with Johnny. She had said she used to like him and he hurt her badly. And that she's over it.

Sana seemed to be the better liar out of the two of them.

I remember how she didn't want to talk about him, trying to change the topic.

"What happened between the two of you?" He sighed loudly. 

"It's complicated." 

"That's a facebook relationship status, not an answer." 

He laughed and scratched his head. "It really is. But I can put it simple. We like each other, been together a while ago. Both our groups found out and decided we couldn't be seeing each other any longer. Being sworn enemies and all that."

Like. Not liked.  As in still do.

My heart broke for them. A real life forbidden romance between two rivals. Modern Romeo and Juliet. 

"That's until you came along." Right. I had dates with Johnny before. "Taeyong wanted me to find out more information about you, so I was allowed to get close to Sana again. And now I can't get away". He smiled, deep in thought about her. 

I cleared my throat, pulling him out of his daydream. 

"So anyways.. I told her about the plan and we came up with a better one to protect you".

Sana had stabbed me in the back, but the knife was still in there. She hadn't pulled it out. She wouldn't let me bleed out.

She was still protecting me.

She was still my best friend. 

I could trust her.

How could I doubt her for a single second?

"You're kidnapping me to protect me?" The news that I was wrong about Sana helped soothe my anxiousness. However when  I realized that Chan thought Sana betrayed us, the anxiousness doubled. I just sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening that she would be fine. 

If roles were reversed I would have done everything in my power to protect both Chan and Sana. And I didn't doubt for a single second that it'd be different for him. 

"If you want to put it that way, yes".

"Johnny?", he looked up at me when I said his name. The helicopter was now getting closer towards the ground, preparing for landing.

"Can I trust you?" A smile crossed his face.

"You can but I don't think you should". His answer just as honest as he promised to be.

It felt just like what somebody had told him about dating Sana word for word. 

You can but I don't think you should.

It sounded more trustworthy than a simple yes. And I decided that his response and the fact that Sana trusted him were enough to push aside the thought of Johnny Suh the enemy. I would put my trust in him until he showed me he wasn't worthy of it.

The helicopter landed now and I knew I only had the time for one last question to be answered in complete privacy between him and me.

"Can I trust Taeyong?" The door was pulled open and Johnny jumped out of the helicopter, but not without turning back to me and giving me a stern look.

No.