Chain Me

First Time's The Hardest

     The file insinuates that this particular outing, our first official one, will be low stress and simple. The target is barely on the radar, which makes for a perfect first time for Lost. If something goes wrong the consequences will be unsubstantial and the mess will be swept away with ease. As soon as I told the General that Lost was fully prepared to remain up top, he gave me this file. All I have to do is inform Lost about what we have to do and we're all set. Mariam and Cas are already aware, seeing as they'll be coming along as back up and support, and also as the General's extra pair of eyes to report back to him later.
     I knock on Lost's bedroom door and call out for her to ask if she's dressed yet. I've already told her she needed to change because we're going somewhere a little later tonight, but I didn't tell her where. That probably wasn't nice but I assume it'll be easier to get her out of the house for this if she's already dressed and ready to go. She can refuse, though, if she doesn't like what she has to do, but then I will have to tell the General that she's uncooperative. That will definitely cause trouble.
     "Where are we going?" Lost asks as she opens her bedroom door. She's pulling down the hem of her dress, the tight garment rolling high around her muscular thighs. It fits her like a catsuit and I'm left speechless for a moment. I've only ever seen Lost in casual clothes, conservative and prim. But now... Whoa. Her new haircut gives her outfit a whole different level of elegant and even her collar seems like a sleek, well thought out accessory if you don't look too closely. It's plain to see why others wanted her in the past. She cleans up well. That and the will-do-whatever-you-say thing, but that's not relevant at the moment.
     "Kahlan?" Lost calls for me, worried. She shifts her feet, the heels adorning her feet showing off her calves.
     I suck in a breath and smile. "Yes, right," I say, blowing out air. "Come on, I'll show you." I lead Lost to the kitchen where I've left the file the General gave me and open it up for her. I've thought out how I want to tell her what she's expected to do, and I decided that I'd let her read the file. She understands facts the easiest, so that's what I'm going to give her.
     "Read this and tell me what you think," I tell her, pushing the file across the island to her.
     She puckers her lips and stares down at the file before her. "Okay."
     Leaning my butt against the counter opposite the island, I fix my dress, better covering my bosom, then wait. I'm dressed just as nicely as Lost, going into the same environment she is, but I don't feel as confident as she clearly does. She didn't trip up once in her heels and her posture is poised, predatory almost. Even reading she seems in her element. It's strange, actually. Usually she's so nervous around me. The knowledge of going out and being allowed to dress up must have a positive effect on her.
     "This is not a very good man," Lost says, making me jump.
     "He's not," I agree, holding onto the counter behind me.
     "You want me to kill him?" The question is asked with no surprise or disgust. A simple, straightforward question.
     "What makes you say that?" Though that's exactly what's expected of her, I want to know what made her come to that conclusion, and why it doesn't appear to bother her in the least.
     Lost closes the file and pushes it away from her. "It was either that or capture him. That's what was done to me by Cas. I'm like her so I'm guessing I have to do things like her, too."
     I bob my head slowly. I knew Lost was smart, but it's rare that she shows it. She'd rather hide it and remain low and hidden to prevent punishments. It's sad, but I'm trying to halt that line of thinking in her head. I don't mind her smarts. I want her to push and challenge like a normal person does. Even if it makes her tougher to work with, it's better for her to be independent and confident in herself.
     "Do you mind having to do things like this?" I ask.
     "No. I've been used to do this before."
     "Seriously?"
     Lost shrugs and runs a hand through her hair, mussing it, but not ruining her look. "I'm capable of extreme acts. It's not uncommon for others to take advantage of that."
     I push off the counter and place my palms on the island. "Do you think I'm taking advantage of you?" I've never thought of it that way, but, essentially, that's what's happening. The only reason we picked her up in the first place is because of what she's capable of doing.
     "Not you specifically," she says. "But I understand why I was captured."
     The fact that she can differentiate between myself and the rest of my people makes me happy. She could easily hate me and blame me for what's happening to her, but she isn't. At least I don't think so.
     "What do you think of me?" I ask carefully. My fragile ego requires an answer, and I hope it's a positive one at that. I'm trying my best to treat Lost with respect but I could be going about it all wrong for all I know.
     Lost cocks her head and blinks at me. "In what capacity?"
     "Our life here, is it okay for you? Is my treatment of you respectful?"
     A confused frown and furrowed brow overtakes Lost's expression. She stares at me for a long time, then she says, "You haven't struck me yet. You haven't touched me at all."
     "Struck you?" I balk, offended. "Of course I haven't. Do you really think I would do something like that?"
     "Actually, no," she says, sounding odd. "You treat me differently than anyone who's ever owned me. It's unusual for me. You're... nice."
     My brows lift and suddenly I understand why Lost is always on edge, even when nothing is going on. She expects me to be cruel and waits for the moment when I'll turn on her. I'm glad I haven't attempted to touch her, even kindly, because she's sure to take it as a possible hit in coming.
     "I'll always be nice to you, Lost," I tell her sincerely. "That time of your life- the insensitivities- is over. I'm not going to hit you or treat you like an animal. You're a human being and you're in charge of your life now. Okay?"
     Lost's eyes fall to the island, the file, and she purses her lips. Her shoulders square after a minute, and she looks up at me, determination in her dark eyes.
     "I want to do these things with you," she says, pointing to the file. "For as long as you'll let me."
     The declaration is unexpected but it makes me smile. I figured she'd agree to work with me, but it was right to tell her she has options. She needs to know that she can steer her own life now.
"Let's go, then," I say. "Mariam and Cas are coming, and they're waiting for us."