Only love can hurt like this..

16 ~ I am so stupid.

I made typical dutch dinner, boerenkool with a nice dutch sausage. I missed dutch food so much, it is so different here in England. I wouldn't say I don't like the food here but that I just love the food I grew up with. Leah doesn't like it and eats very slowly so after 45 minutes we are finally done with eating. I'm getting ready for gym when Leah comes in.

"I don't want to go babe, please." She pleaded.
"Le, I know you don't want to go, but we made a deal and I need a gym-mate. So here you have some of my clothes, make yourself physically and mentally ready because the more you plead, the more excercises your gonna do darling." I said firmly.
"Uhhghh. Okay then." She sighed.

When Leah was ready we set off to the training grounds. Time went fast and most of the time Leah was just watching me doing some excercises while she did absolutely nothing.

"Hey, train your ass a bit instead of watching mine." I joked, she went straight red.
"Oh uh I'm sorry. It just is so big and attractive." She joked back hoping I would go red as well but I didn't.
"Better luck next time my dear."

We trained until we got kicked out of the grounds, I think it must have been around 10am so we excercised for about 2 hours ish. When we left I drove. But when I was about to drop Leah off at her home, she noticed her window was cracked.

"Shit Eef, look at my window, it is cracked. F*cking hell, why my house? Why not the neighbours?" Leah shouted.
"Hey Le, it will be okay. Let's go to my apartment and you can sleep there. Tomorrow we go to the police yeah? You're tired, I'm tired, it won't help to do anything now. And I want some cuddles of my girl." I said calmly.
"Alright, but I will go alone to the police. You should get the most rest as possible." Leah said while she still hasn't calmed down.
"Alright if that is what you want, I don't mind coming with you at all, know that. Come on, give me a hug and listen to my heartbeat."
"I don't know, I would like to have you by my side during the process. But you need resting, and by sitting at a police station you won't get that." Leah said while hugging me.
"Think about it, it is only tomorrow. I will support you anyway." I reassured her.

We got to my apartment and she went directly upstairs, almost crying. I decided to let her have some space and sit downstairs for a little before locking the doors and going upstairs as well.

"Hey Le, you okay with me sleeping here aswell?" I asked
"Yeah, I would love to have to here as close as possible, and it is your bed." She smiled showing her tears.
"Alright, you okay?" I said, happy she dared to show her tears to me.
"Yeah think so, thank you for leaving me some space to cry my eyes out!" She lauged again, I pulled her in for a hug.
"It will be okay, I promise." I whispered to reassure her.
"I know, I'm just thinking, what if anything is stolen that is worth more to me then the money. I mean I have a watch of my nan, she passed last year and gave it to me because she knew I loved it and would be carefull with it. If it's stolen I broke the promise I made back then." She said on a worried tone.
"She wouldn't think like that, you can't do anythung about it. She would also tell you that!" She calmed  down after I said this, we were still hugging each other.
"Let's get some sleep, if you still want to, we'll go to the police department tomorrow morning." Le said.
"I would love to have your back Le, goodnight." I said.

We went to bed and she cuddled up to me as much as she said she would. It was a cozy night, but I loved it and I think she did too. We woke up next to each other, as she pushed her head into my chest.

"Ouch, don't push that hard please, I love you but not that much yet my dear." I said with a giggle.
"Oh, you okay? I'm so sorry." She said on a fake worried tone.
"You bitch, I'm not okay. I can't really breath." I said, letting a fake tear go of my eye.
"Awwhhh my baby, don't cry. Get calm and breath, that will help I hope." She said, still acting.
"No, I don't want to. You need to help me." I cried
"You little piece of stubborn shit. Run, I'm gonna catch you stubborn shit." She shouted.

I run as fast as I can to the toilet and locked it. I heard that she was now on the other side of the door because of her fast breathing.

"Stubborn piece of shit, I know your here. Com'on, open the door or else I'll break through it." She shouted.
"Oh Le, I would love to see that!" I awnsered.
"You really are a piece of shit. And I won't do it cause you can get hurt. That is something I don't want."
"Pinky promise?" I asked.
"Pinky promise if you get out." She said with a cute and lovely voice so I came out.
"Alright pinky promise that we won't ever hurt each other during our relationship?" I asked again
"Pinky promise babe." She made the pinky promise and pulled me into a hug.

A few hours later I started a conversation when we were both home again.

"You know what I did?" I said.
"No, why?" She was clearly worried.
"I cheated on you today my dear." I said as seriously as I could but as soon as I got Leah's reaction I knew I shouldn't have made a joke about this.
"What? I don't know what your doing but please don't come after me." She said almost crying while she packed her stuff and walked out.
"Oh and if you didn't notice yet, we're absolutely done." She yelled into my face.

She was gone because of a silly joke that was bullshit. I am so incredibly stupid, it is actually unbelievable.