Only love can hurt like this..

3 ~ The next day

After the best party ever last night, and probably also this morning, we have to go training again but since I played the whole game it is mostly rehab excercises. I like the days after matchday, just some low-intensity drills, stretching, laughing, bit of gym and you can go swimming. I love to swim, I could even choose to be a professional footballer or a professional swimmer but not many people know this. Time to surprise. I quickly change and put on my swimwear, I jump in the pool around Viv, Beth, Hails and Lee. My mates, the ones I can not live without. A few hours pass just swimming, doing boardgames and a bit of team activities. Tommorow morning we are going to Rome with our squad, so Viv, Beth, Leah, Hailey, me and probably Kim as well. The rest chose to stay here as we got training in the afternoon. It is already late so we go to eat quickly and then go to bed, Lee is my roomie so of course we talk for a long time, it is a nice but deep going conversation. I tell her about my dad who passed around half a year ago, how I can survive at home with the two lovebirds, Viv and Beth, and lastly she tells me more about her past, so things like where she grew up, who here idols were, why she wanted to play football until she noticed I had already fallen asleep. After staring at me quite a while, she fell asleep too. The next morning she was already awake when I woke up. "Had a good beauty sleep while I was talking weren't you? Un-interested sleepy head that you are" she says with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on her face. I awnser in a teasy way, "ofcourse, who would be interested in you? I don't like to throw my time to the bin." From the corner of my eye I see her blush a bit, she's quite cute when you tease her, good to know. I get ready as Leah is waiting for me to go to breakfast downstairs. When I'm done and walk out I see her staring at me again, can't she just stop looking? I am getting nervous because of her. I ignore her, get some yoghurt and sit with Hails, Kim and Viv. Hailey also stares at me when I'm coming over, literally why is everyone staring at me.

After breakfast I ask Kim to come to my room and she does. "Kim please tell me, what have I done wrong? Everyone is staring at me, I am getting nervous of it. I hate to be in the spotlight." She just laughs, but later says "Darling, you have done nothing wrong. You only have two admirers, or at least I think your talking about Hailey and Leah?" I nod as confirmation for her, she pulls me into a hug. Kim is such a good skipper, always knows what to do. Kim then asks "Did you really not notice Leah and Hailey both like you? I mean, I know you and Leah are roommates, and you and Hailey are also inseperable at some times." I just stare at the wall, not knowing what to do. Eventually I begin to talk "I am just shit, I feel like I'm starting my old habits again, but I know I can't. Viv will be angry, I will let dad down, probably Leah and Hailey will stare and tease me even more.. What do I need to do Kim? I don't wanna cut myself but it feels like the only right thing to do in this moment." She pulls me into another hug while I'm just crying. I start to listen to her heartbeat as it helped when Leah calmed me down, it does again. That girl is special, but Hailey is as well. What if they really BOTH like me, that is impossible. They are like the two hottest girls I have ever seen. I realise if I want to solve this, I first need to have a proper conversation about this with the both of them seperate, or at least that is what I think is the best. I'll do it tonight with Leah in our bedroom, maybe this afternoon already with Hails. I also realise I will later on have to make a choice between Hailey and Leah. Kim asks if she can go because she has a meeting with Jonas so I thank her and she goes.

I search Hailey, and in the end find her in the gameroom. I ask her to come with me, time to have talk one I think to myself. "What is wrong Eef?" She asks in such a gentle way that it melts my heart. "Do you like me?" I throw out, she awnsers "yes, quite long already. Why?". "I thought so because you stare at me so much but I only get nervous so I went to Kim to ask what I did wrong. She then told me that she thinks you and Leah both like me..". She pulls me in for a hug as I'm almost crying again, Hails is always so caring. "I like you, Leah likes you. It's your choice, if you choose Leah I just hope you are happy with her and that we can remain besties!" That is such a Hailey-thing to say, always thinking about others and not about herself. We hug once more and go back into the game room.

Tonight I will have a talk with Leah if everything goes alright. I just don't want to hurt anyone but I know I have to if Leah also likes me. As it already is dinner time, we go to the restaurant to eat. Kim looks at me and I nod as confirmation I talked to Hailey. She smiles and secretly puts her thumbs up. I also smile, she is such a good skipper and human. I get my food and sit with Lia, Caitlin, Steph, Katie and Beth. I normally don't really talk to them except for the normal stuff, but now I realise that they are so funny as well. I'm really lucky to be a part of this team.