do you still love me? | minsung

029

days have went by after that night when jisung lashed out on minho who probably only had good intentions.

they've seen each other after those days, but only forced, because or friends, or coincidentally. it was clear as day that the two were trying their best to avoid each other, felix even noticed and try to get something out from jisung, but the older only shrugged him off.

going to the present evening, jisung stared once again at his phone, his and minho's conversation displayed on full brightness. he read over and over his unsent message that was saved as a draft since that night.

hey, i'm sorry for lashing out on you that night. i wasn't really feeling well.

he rubbed his face with both of his palms, sighing in distress. gosh, he desperately wanted to fix things, but just by reading the message he wrote and already memorized, he knew it wouldn't fix much.

thursday was nearing, the day that the nine of them will go to the amusement park, he wanted to enjoy having his friends around him all together, but how will he if he and a certain person won't get along by then?

it's bothering him as much now that he knew his feelings for minho never left. it's gotten to the point where thinking of him is suffocating.

"i messed up.." jisung whimpered to himself.

he took his phone in his hand and aggressively pressed the backspace button. he exited the messaging app and went in his room to get his hoodie, making his way to the main door of his and changbin's flat.

minho laid in his and jaemin's bed, lost in thought as he stared blankly at the ceiling. jaemin had already fallen asleep, snuggled next to him like a bear.

he felt guilty for thinking of jisung while jaemin was right next to him. but he couldn't help but replay the moments in his head where he caught jisung staring at him then looking away, not even talking to him after he got mad at him for checking if he was fine.

it made him frustrated how he waited for jisung to be the one to talk to him first after that night. he really wanted to talk to him, be on good terms again. but it seems as if jisung wasn't ready yet.

he wanted to initiate the first move, but as much as he wanted to, he had to give jisung some space.

these days, the younger looked so sad. he noticed it, how his eyes lost their shine, how exhausted he looked, how he often spaced out, how silent he was.

third person speaking, you'd notice the tension building up between the two. the two are too focused on each other's movements that they haven't felt any tension themselves.

minho reminisced their high school years. he always knew how to cheer the younger up, how his hugs would be enough to have him smiling again.

and all he wanted to do after witnessing how gloomy jisung had been, was to give him a hug, one that would make things all right.

but he was reminded by the boy sleeping beside him that he couldn't do those things to jisung anymore, even if it was for good intentions.

it irritated him. but will he admit it?

no.

lately, he has been feeling confused. he reflected the days he and jaemin spent in seoul, to outings with friends, and...

jisung.

his mind was full of the squirrel boy, and he had recently only realized that the person he was in a relationship was way in the back of his mind. he doesn't even remember much about him and jaemin being in seoul.

it made him feel so guilty.

he knew he had to stop these growing emotions toward the younger, he didn't want to break jaemin.

but realizing how he felt something when he was with jisung, something he never felt with jaemin in a long time, minho thought of when he will be able to feel that again if ever the time comes again that he and jisung would be on good terms.

it's gotten quite messy between them, and minho wants to smoothen things out at least until he would have to go back to the states.

it was already late, but he felt the need to go out and clear his mind for a while, so he carefully replaced his spot with a pillow so jaemin wouldn't wake up. he put on his coat and looked back at jaemin one more time before quietly leaving their shared room.

it was freezing outside tonight as jisung sat on one of the swings, staring at nothing in particular.

he was in a park in seoul, one that was secluded that only few know where it is located. this was one of the parks where he and minho hung out in the past. he remembers sneaking off with him whenever they had trainings for their games inside of seoul.

jisung sighed, a cloud of white coming out of his system, all due to the coldness. his head was rested on the swing's rusted and cold chain, not being bothered by anything else, until he shot up, sitting straight in alarm when he saw someone's figure coming close to the park's entrance.

his heart beat quickens, he was supposed to be feeling uneasy, but it was different from that. he was frozen in place as silver strands of hair started to come to view.

he didn't want to believe it, but it was right in front of him.

he was right in front of him.

the other met eyes with jisung. big eyes staring right into his in shock.

"mi-... minho?"

"jisung??" minho said, also surprised.