Sidewalk Smiles ☆Rylan Fanfiction☆

☆ I'm Not Brave Enough To Say It (5)

His pen dragged across the paper of a black and white checkered notebook. He dropped his pen on the table, rereading what he wrote.

DEC 2, 2020
"Hello, again. Diary. I have another update. That boy, he said I looked nice yesterday. I don't know if he said it just to be nice, or if he actually meant it. But for some reason, I just can't get his words out of my mind. It's just a simple 'you look nice' I don't understand why I keep thinking about it. I get told that by a lot of people."

"But him- I have to talk to him again. But I don't know how. I met him literally a month ago. He's always hanging out with Kaitlyn and gang. I don't like them, they're too much for me. But if I want to speak to him again, I might have to come up to them. Ugh. I'll just ask Sarah for help. She's so much better at this than me, it's embarrassing. Anyway, school is in a few hours so, bye."

Ryan closed his book and shoved it back into his pillowcase. He spread himself on his bed to think of some ideas on how he could get closer to that guy. It felt weird liking somebody that you barely even know. But he had a mission, and that was to tell someone his feelings.

If he liked him back, then cool. If he didn't, then "oh well I'm used to it," though he would feel distraught. Well, hey, if anything happened‐ atleast he had his notebook to vent to.

☆ ☆ ☆

The bell rung and everyone was dismissed, including Ryan. He stopped by his locker, which was conveniently located right next to the class he came out of. He entered his combination and pulled out a book that he would need for his next class after lunch.

Then, Ryan made his way to the stairs. He climbed down the last step and looked down the hall, "Right...." he paused, "Now." he continued. Kaylee ran down the hallway yelling, "RYAN!"

His eyes moved to face Kaylee, "What?" He asked, his eyes tracking his friend who jumped up and down, "Are you gonna do it?" Kaylee stopped jumping.

He sighed, "I'll try to."

"Well good luck!" She gave Ryan a thumbs up, "Now me and Laura are going to talk about some 'girl biz' byeeee!" She smiled widely at Ryan and skipped down the remaining stairs.

Ryan inhaled and exhaled, "Here we go." He entered the lunch room, where the sound of kids yelling and blasting music annoyed him. He went to the back of the room and sat on one of the benches, scanning the room. His eyes stopped at a girl standing on a table, dramatically pointing in the air. It was Emma! Woo! He had found the table.

He observed the group talking and laughing. Then, he looked to the right of Kaitlyn. And boom, there he was. Ryan continued to watch Dylan, and that's when he noticed he didn't have a plan. How was he going to speak to him only, when the whole gang was there? He trembled at the thought of coming up to all of them.

Ryan dragged his sweaty palms across his black T-shirt. Okay, he needed to calm down. Fast. He took his earbuds from his pants pocket and placed them into his ears. He proceeded to grab his phone out of his backpack to play some drum loops, which calmed him down almost immediately.

The music made him feel slightly more confident, so he balled up his hand into fist and got up. He started heading towards the table, then he stopped. "Oh no, what am I doing..." He thought to himself. Suddenly, his hand moved to his ear- by itself. His hand knocked the earbud out of his ear, and it went flying towards Kaitlyn's table.

It landed on the table, and it didn't take long for them to notice that some random earbud just flew onto their table.

"Yo! Who's earbud is this!" Jacob screamed and pointed at it.

A lump grew in Ryan's throat, "Fuck," he whispered. He had to retrieve his "best friend." Right. Now. He began to wobbly speed walk to the table. Dylan giggled and inspected the earbud, before placing his hand on it. His head shot up when he realized the earbud wasn't the only thing he was touching.

It was Ryan's hand, which was incredibly shakey.
"Oh! Ryan! This is yours?" He questioned as his nose started to fade pink.

Ryan opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out, so he just nodded.
"You have some impressive throwing skills!" Nick said jokingly. The group started to chuckle, and that made him shake even more.

He began to doze off, thinking about himself fainting infront of this giant crowd of people. But he snapped out of it when he felt something caress his hand. Oh God. He was still touching Dylan's hand. "D-D-Dylan...." Was the only sound that could escape his mouth.

Dylan nervously pulled away, "Hm?" He mumbled. "Come, sit." Ryan's left hand, the same one that sent the earbud flying, tugged on Dylan's arm. He decided to follow Ryan, since this was probably a chance for him to get to know him a little better.

The group turned around when they saw Dylan get up to follow Ryan, "Hey, Vy! Where are you going?" Jacob yelled after him. "Dude, shush!" Kaitlyn said, flinging a sandwich crumb at his face, "Let them have their moment."

Dylan took the seat across from Ryan, "So... what's up?" He asked, scratching his nails against the table. "O-oh yeah, ceiling- I mean, I just wanted to say thank you." Dylan put his right eyebrow into the air, "For what?"

"For complimenting me. And uh, giving me my thing back."

"I'm pretty sure any normal person would've did that- I mean the returning your belongings part. Not the complimenting." He nervously clawed at the back of his head.

Then it became silent, like it always had when they tried to speak to eachother.
"Uhm, your shirt looks nice! I like your shirt," Dylan complimented, his eyes trailing down the line of skulls on Ryan's sleeve.

Ryan mentally squirmed at the compliment, it was his favourite shirt. "Thanks," he murmured. Okay, this was going pretty well so far. Fortunately, Dylan had planned ahead. He spent all night thinking of questions to ask Ryan, if he ever had the chance to talk to him.

First he'd start of with the basic questions, then he'd go to the more absurd ones like: "Do you put pickles in your icecream?" and "Do you like honey and cheese?"

"Okay, so, Ryan..."
Ryan tracked Dylan and his intense, overly dramatic movements. "What's your favourite color?" He asked as he smiled like this question would make him win a million dollars.

Ryan shoved his earbud back into his ear, "Uhm, I don't have one," he said. "Oh. Okay." Dylan picked at the loose skin on his thumb, "Why'd you bring me over here? I meant to ask you that earlier."

Ryan's pupils dilated as if he was caught off guard, "Oh... I-" he struggled to come up with an excuse, "-am reallyyyy interested in that flower shop, uh, by the school. Yeah," Ryan attempted to form some type of smile, but it came out looking like an insanely awkward and crooked granny-looking thing.

Dylan shook in excitement when he heard this, "I LOVE that place! My mom works there!" He smiled widely and clapped his hands, then he crushed them in between his thighs while looking down. His nose was turning pink again. "I could... take you there sometime?" He murmured.

Ryan giggled slightly at the boy's shyness, thinking of it as adorable. "Sounds, um, fun," he replied as he pulled on his shirt. Dylan chuckled in response and covered his face, trying to hide the fact that his nose was red and his eyes were filled with sparkles.