I thought of you
the time I learned to count my age
Missing all the rushing hours
about what might've been
If I didn't walk away
If the colors of your hair
won't be fading all to gray
But I still haven't printed
the photo you love
I promised to give it to you
on your special day
I couldn't spend the time
I wish I could have
The words I said are now decayed
I can't stare at your face
I turn my head away
I don't know what to say
to your old picture someday
Don't look at me like that
Stop counting all your days
Just burn the dress that you prepared
It's too soon yet
A lot more's on the way
I started to care
when I turned sixteen
Started counting the years
for that beautiful scene
If you'd ever be there
with me on the stage
In my robe with a paper
and my bold-printed name
I wonder if we'd ever be the same
Shaking my hands with the teachers in line
Walking so small, passing the crowds of proud parents like you with a smile
But it's four years from now
Hoping that you won't get sick
Praying to God He'll shield you from this killing machine,
don't let your body weak
The death letter I wrote
the one full of apologies
It should never come true
So we can make a lot more memories
And I can spend more time with you
I can't stare at your face
I turn my head away
I don't know what to say
to your old picture someday
Don't look at me like that
Stop counting all your days
Just burn the dress that you prepared
It's too soon yet
A lot more's on the way
I'll buy you your pills
I'll buy you your milk
Your bags and umbrellas
Your sandals and watches, your favorite silk
You are in my prayers every night every day
The first person I mention to God when I talk to Him, I say
I can't stare at your face
I turn my head away
I don't know what to say
to your old picture someday
I hate it when you look at me like that
And when you number all your days
It alarmed me when you said
you have a dress prepared
the 19th of this May
But 88 is too soon yet
So please as of right now just stay
A lot more's on the way
- theptwelve
July 1, 2020
