BREATHE

1

"Thank you Mrs Buford ", I said as  I took my little sisters extended walking down the steps of her small front porch waving good bye as we made our back to our house which was just a block away. I'd known Mrs Buford since forever and forever being 10 years ago when we moved to Ashville. she's one of the oldest residents of this small town and one of the sweetest old ladies known to have existed. I would normally stay at her house afterschool until my parents got home, guess the tradition carried on because now that was my sisters routine.

We waved back to her until we were visible out of sight ,turning to my sister i asked "How was your day Livy?" her eyes lit up as she started telling about her whole day starting from when i had dropped her off at the gate of her school this morning to the very last lesson of the day. i couldn't help but chuckle at the parts I found to be funny.

She'd talked the whole way and I hadn't realized we'd arrived until I was walked up the stairs to the door of the front of the house. The mood had seemingly changed in seconds as my sister was no longer talking my ear off but rather she stood at the foot of the stairs as if she was assessing the door of the house we're about to enter in. Encouraging her to walk up the stairs with the best smile i could master. I inserted the key ,turning it and pushed the door. taking a deep breath  I walked through and flicked the lights on. hanging our coats on the hooks on the wall on my right ,closing the door behind us I continued down the hall.

"Livy go get the water ready, I'll be up in a sec" she hurriedly made her way up stairs ,her little feet causing a paddle like sound. i stood there listening to the sound until it eventually stopped then continued walking until i was at the entrance of the kitchen, not bothering looking through the cupboards i took out my phone from my back pocket and ordered us some Pizza, Chicken and Mushroom with extra sauce just the way livy likes it.

I quickly made my way upstairs to livys room which was decorated in every color under the sun. to me it looked like a color run went through her room but she loved it because she said it reminds her of the rainbow. following the hum of her sweet child-like voice ,the tune sounding oddly familiar ,i found her in the tub playing with her dolls. she hadn't noticed me standing so i decided to play with her. i mean what are big brothers for. i turned the lights off startling her then burst out the loudest roar i could master "ROOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR".

"Aaaaaaaaaah" turning toward the direction of the sound her eyes met with mine as i turned on the lights trying really hard to suppress my laugh, failing miserably i laughed so hard i landed on the tiled floor whizzing. "Matty that was not nice" she said with a little pout. "because you scared me now you're gonna have to watch beauty and the beast with me" as i was ready to protect she continued leaving no room for arguments ,she flashed me her cute smile" and you can't say no because i'm too cute." rolling my eyes "fine but first lets get you all cleaned up."

Forty minutes later we were settled on the couch with the pizza that once laid on the coffee table long devoured. we  were about an hour into the movie when young prince starts singing

Days in the sun 

when my life has barely begun 

not until my whole life is done

 will i ever leave you

i watched the scene as my heart ached a bit, its crazy how a few years ago that was me with my own mother a few hours after giving birth to my little sister. i turned to stroke her hair only to find her already looking up at me with her bright green eyes. i watched her ,she was so innocent and as for the things i wouldn't do to keep her like that ,oblivious to the harshness of this world even but for a little while longer amounts to zero. i'd do it all for her.

Lost in my own trail of thought i was brought back by Livy tucking at my short sleeved shirt. "what did you say ,i kinda zoned out for a moment". with the cutest yet exaggerated sigh ,lowering her voice to a whisper she said "i was saying can you tell me that story about mommy again?"

Turning my gaze to the movies that had been long forgotten then back to her i started the story.... half through i heard the sound of her breath, so light and airy i knew she'd fallen asleep. i swiftly picked her up and carried her to bed, placing her under the covers i tucked her in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. turning to leave i was stopped in my tracks  by her sleepy voice "Is Daddy coming back home tonight?" not really knowing how to answer the question i said the only that came to mind making sure i don't make much noise " go back to sleep livy, i'm sure he will be home by the time you wake up tomorrow." 

walking out of her room to my mine i couldn't help but be frustrated at Him and myself ,because i hated lying to that little girl and i hated how she'd so easily believe my every word but i guess i should be happy. 

plopping into bed i grabbed a picture of my mom and i that set on my bedside table. i looked just about ready to cry while mom was hugging me while laughing. My eyes wondered over her features, she had brown eyes that almost looked hazel when under the sun, long brown flowy hair, defined jaw and her slim point nose that i liked calling frosties. The picture was taken by my dad when i was only livys age. i Remember that day like it was yesterday , it was my birthday and Dad took us to my favourite park. i Really liked that park because it had monkey bars.

see i had this idea  that if i wanted to be anything like spiderman i'd first have to master the monkey bars. i don't know where i got the strange idea from. i had been climbing then fell on my stomach, that's when mom had swooped in and hugged me.

i looked at the picture for the last time that night then set it back down. Grabbing my sketch book from under the pillow and a pencil. i got to sketching, at first i didn't know what it was that i was sketching and time seemed to have  been moving fast because when i lifted my head towards the alarm is read 00:05 a.m. Closing my sketch book, i turned to switch the off the light when i heard a jingling set of keys ,then the front door opening making a creak sound the ecoed throughout the whole house. i crawled back to bed, starring up at the ceiling. i drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

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