My Darling Beatrice: The Series of Events Before

Snicket Family Values pt. I (1)

The Snicket family is a dysfunctional one; a word which here means 'shared secret codes with each other, attempted to solve complex philosophy questions in their spare time, and ate hazelnut butter and Salami sandwiches with multi-grain waffles acting as the bread'. Hazelnut butter and salami sandwiches are the title of a very rare but delicious snack.

Their parents died when they were very young in a fire at a beach house they owned while they were on vacation. Consequently, they moved in with their estranged - a word which here means, 'stopped writing letters to his nieces and nephews around 6 years ago due to an, as he called it, 'very frantic date'' - uncle, Arthur. The Snicket siblings' aunt Edith, however, was a kindhearted woman who was a favorite companion of all three siblings.

Edith was especially fond of Kit. Not necessarily more than Jacques and Lemony, but they had a special bond, Kit being the only girl and all. She would often deliver a long tirade - a word which here means a long speech of nonsensical chatter' - while doing her hair, mostly about how many things she can get away with if she has the right amount of beauty. Kit loved her aunt, but she was doing just fine with her clever remarks and quick thinking. But Kit couldn't help but agree with Edith when she was giving that pleasant massage-like treatment with all of her complicated hair products.

Kit felt this exact sensation as she felt Dewey Denouement's large hand settle gently on her head.

"Darling, you've got a piece of paper in your hair. How much writing have you been doing?" Kit had been documenting the alliances and affiliations of the V.F.D. organization on her typewriter that Dewey had given her for her birthday. She, of course, didn't decide to share her stories like Lemony, but she was a bright woman for doing so. She had saved many people from reading the horrors of betrayal and arson V.F.D. was filled with. But you clearly wouldn't have minded since you're reading this tragic tale now.

"You did get it for me to use, didn't you?" Kit smiles and kisses his cheek. Dewey orders 4 more drinks from the bartender, who you might know as Larry. As if on cue, Lemony and Jacques walk up to them.

"Speak of the devil," Dewey says, using a phrase which here means 'oh, look, there is the thing I and/or other party members were just talking about or expecting. Dewey used it because the drinks he had ordered were for the two of them.

"Ah, hello Frank". Jacques reaches out to Dewey to shake his hand but is instead greeted by the raise of an eyebrow from Dewey, who had just been wrongly called his triplet brother's name. Lemony puts a hand on his dear brother's shoulder, causing Jacques to look up at him.

"That's Dewey, Jacques. Frank is conversing with Mrs. and Mr. Quagmire. Regardless, hello Dewey. Larry." Lemony nods towards Larry-your-waiter behind the counter with a glass in hand. "How are you two doing?"

"My brother has always been more observant than I." Jacques salutes to Dewey and clicks his tongue before downing his drink.

"We're fine. Dewey was just talking to me about how he thinks I'm writing too much, and I didn't even remember to mention to him how much you write. Lemony here has pages and pages stacked up in his room." Lemony chuckles, putting his hands on the counter and looking down.

"I'm proud of my work, Kit." His sister rubs his shoulder assuringly. "But Kit.. have you noticed Esmé being even more insufferable than usual?" Lemony leaned in a bit as he said this, although it didn't make his loud voice any quieter.

"It's a high bar." Kit and Dewey snickered to each other, but Lemony stayed deadpan, a word which here means 'the way Lemony's face usually is, while most people would smile once in a while'. "I don't know, I suppose. Esmé Squalor is chronically uptight. But her and Olaf have definitely been doing something other than complaining about the arts being boring and wiping cigar ashes on the back of people's shirts like usual. Why, do you plan on going on another investigation?" Lemony did, in fact, plan to investigate.

"I do." Lemony says. Jacques puts his hand on Lemony's back, grinning boldly.

"Then we, my dear brother, will help you in any way we can." Kit nods in agreement whilst in the middle of finishing a large drink. "But first, would you like to go for some food with Kit and I?" Kit looked up from her glass, oblivious to the fact that Jacques wanted her to go.

"I suppose; why not?" Lemony gave a slight smile, which is the biggest most people can get out of him. Well, most people, that is; except the woman walking behind Lemony and laughing with Bertrand about an opera they saw: Beatrice Baudelaire. Lemony smelled her strong perfume and immediately lit up. "Beatrice!" he said, turning around quickly as to not miss her. She was in a pale blue dress, which was always the best looking color on her. Her dark eyes felt as if they could see into every aspect of Lemony's mind.

"Hello, dear Lemony." Beatrice gave him a beautiful smile, and he couldn't help but blush. Bertrand was about to greet him, but was called over by a group of volunteers. "How are you on this fine morning?" Lemony didn't realize it was morning already; he had been at V.F.D. headquarters since dusk, although most of the volunteers there had just gotten here.

"I'm wonderful, you?" Lemony caught Jacques giving him a suggestive glance from the side, and he sighed at the annoyance of his brother.

"Delightful. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you and your siblings are going to eat?" The Snicket siblings nod in unison, a word which here means 'all together at the same time in an almost creepy way'. "Well, Lemony," Beatrice pushed a hair out of his face, "I hope to join you sometime." Lemony was fazed by the encounter with Beatrice, but didn't show it to his siblings. They, however, knew how much Lemony loved Beatrice.

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Thank you for reading! I meant to make this in to one part, but it was getting really long. I'm really excited for this story to continue! :)