Broken beyond repair? (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 2

Chapter 2 (Harry's POV)

Song: "The Way She Feels" by Between The Trees

"Then she closed her eyes, and found relief in a knife"

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"Hazza! I'm home!"  

Shit.

I quickly washed the blood of my wrists, hissing of pain at the contact with the water. It was a good feeling. After putting my hoodie on, I exited the bath and went down to welcome my best mate.

  "Hazza! I mussed you so much!" he yelled and jumped on me hugging me tight. 

  My heart fell apart watching him, knowing he would never miss me, like I'd miss him.

  "I missed you too, Boo!" I said faking a smile, "Wanna eat something?"   

He looked away, after releasing me of his hug. "Actually, I was going on a dinner with Eleanor... Sorry Haz. Tomorrow 'kay?"  

Eleanor. Again. "Sure" I said.  

"Thanks Haz. Bye, love you" he yelled running out of the flat.  

"Love you too" I whispered.   

As soon as I heard the door shut I felt the tears, again. I went upstairs and sat on the bed. I couldn't do this anymore. Every moment I saw him my heart would break a little more, knowing he was happy with his life. But that was all what mattered, right? Sure, I could end this now, but that would be to selfish.So I just kept killing me slowly with little steps, knowing that someday I will fade away. And with me the pain. 

  I got up and looked in the mirror. I stood in my boxers, looking first at my head. My curls were hanging lifelessly in my face, and I had bloodshot eyes with bags underneath them. My arms and my whole upper body were covered in cuts and scars. My abs were gone and I clearly saw my ribs. I was a mess, unhealthy, but somehow I couldn't but think that I deserved it.  

Suddenly there was a knock. Who the hell was that?!

I dressed myself and went down to open the door.  

"Vas Happenin' Harreh?" Zayn asked.

 "Uhm, not to be rude.. but what are you doing here mate?" I asked avoiding his question.  

"Let me in. I want to talk."  

Ugh. Why does everybody want to talk today?

I stepped aside and let him in, following him to the couch.   

"Harry. I have noticed you've been weird these days, Everything alright? You know you can talk to me!"  

Suddenly that idea, didn't seem so bad at all. Maybe I could tell him. After Louis, Zayn was the one I was closer than anybody else. He leaned back, giving me time to think about it. Then I saw his wrists. I lent closer and couldn't believe what I saw. They were small and almost invisible, but if I looked close enough I could see lots of scars. Was it after all possible, that Zayn had this problem too?

He noticed my looks.  

"Yeah... uhm I did that before I got to know you guys. So don't worry about it. I don't do this anymore." he said.  

"But... why?" I asked  

"I had my reasons. They don't matter anymore. Look, I know you don't understand why someone would do this but - "  

I cut him off  " I do"  

"What?" he asked  

I sighted, stood up and took off my hoodie. I needed to tell someone.   

He gasped, shocked. "Oh God! What happened to you Harry?" he asked with tears in his eyes.  

I laughed dryly "My life happened, Zayn."   

He started to say something but was interrupted by the door bursting open.  

"Haz? Is Zayn there? I saw his - . Hey there Zayn, where's Hazza?" I heard him ask.

When I had heard his voice, I ran upstairs.   

I put on my hoodie and walked down.  

"Hey Boo." I sent Zayn  a look to signalize him to keep his mouth shut. He nodded in response.

  "So, what do you want to do?", Louis asked.

Zayn sighted "Actually I was going home... Bye, see you tomorrow." he said and left.  

Great! Alone, with Louis.   

I looked at him, wondering how someone could look so perfect. His brown hair was soft and a little messed up. His lips were so adorable, I just wanted to kiss them all the time. And his eyes. Ocean blue eyes. Simply beautiful.

"HARRY"   

"What?" I asked  

"I've been calling you for the past 2 minutes, but you woudn't move." he said.  

"Yeah sorry... Just tired. I think I'm going to bed. Night Lou." I said and went upstairs.  

The urge had returned, knowing he would never be mine.  

"Ok, good night Haz" he called after me.  

I headed into the bathroom, searching for the razor. Hello, little friend, I thought.   I placed the razor on my wrist and pressed. The blood started to drop and my wrist started to burn. I placed the razor a second time on my wrist. A third. A forth. Suddenly I crumbled to floor crying, realizing how really fucked up I was. Some lyrics came into my mind and I grabbed a white sheet and a pen, and started to write:  

Then he closed his eyes 

And found relief in a knife

The blood flows as he cries

All alone the way he feels

Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief

Bite the lip just forget the bleeding

Then he closed his eyes

And found relief in a knife

The blood flows as he cries                      

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I know the song is not from 1D, but just pretend it was :)

Please comment and give me feedback :)

I'd love that :)