The Broken Suicide

The Broken Suicide: Part 8

RICKY
" Why were you planning to kill yourself?" my therapist asked. I glanced at the tracker hooked onto my left leg. We were in my father's office. I chuckled and glanced outside. The weather was nice out for once. " I already told you, I repeated myself how many times and you're not listening" I replied. She gave me a cold stare and replied back, " watch who you're talking too." I shifted my body towards the window to face away from her and started pacing. "Sit down!" She ordered. I stopped pacing, moved closer to her until we eye to eye. " If you think talking to your patients like that will get them to open up, ha. You're sadly mistaken. You're a joke of a therapist. You have no idea on how to approach people. "Don't tell me how to do my job" I chuckled again. "Your job?" I questioned. " job my ass. You don't know the first thing on how to communicate with your patients. Who handed you, your diploma?" I started laughing more. Next thing I know, she stormed out of the office. She was screaming and kicking to my mother on how awful I am. "Hmph, pathetic" I said to myself as I sat back down in the brown velvet chair.

MOM

"Mommy am I going to be okay?" said her younger son. He already lost a lot of his hair, he has grown pale and can't even move out of his bed. "Yes, yes my love" I said as I kissed his frail face. "Mommy will make sure you're okay..I promise" His smile made her heart sink. " Good ! Because I can't wait to see Ricky and Daddy again" My heart now shattered into pieces.
-
" YOU HAVEN'T  TOLD HIM???!!" yelled my mother. "What do you want me to tell my son? Hey your older brother killed your dad and your brother may be sent to prison or worse put to death?" My mother stayed silent. " yes because you tell a younger boy his daddy is gone. " YOU WATCH YOUR FUCKING MO...!" Ricky walks out from his father's work office  and says, " Oh, hey Gran" My mother lowers her hands and rushes to hug Ricky. "Fake bitch" I thought to myself.  "How was therapy?" Asked my mother. Ricky walked into the kitchen and shouted " it was fine, don't worry."  My mother turned to face me and frowned. For once I'm glad that Ricky was home. " I'll be on my way I suppose" mumbled my mother. " good I thought" She grabbed her bags and finally left my home. I sighed as I tried to put my hair up. It was hard to now because of how short it is now. I lay down facing the couch as tears begin to shed. " I hate myself" I thought.

RICKY
(RICKY has a flashback to when he was in high school. He is standing in the halls, confused on what's going on)

"GAY!" Screams the guys on the football team as they walk by Ricky. 

(RICKY watches his past him as he remembers this day)
One of the football players grabs Ricky by the collar of his red Sleeping with Sirens shirt "fucking gay ass boy"
Past Ricky says nothing as he is hurled into the lockers. "Fight back pussy" Screams the football players. Ricky heard the door lock which was his only exit. "Fuck" thought Ricky. "They're going to beat the shit out of me today." The captain of the football team made his way through. He was 6'3, muscular, blonde hair and blue eyes. Typical jock description except he had a lazy eye. He goes by the name of Chaz. Chaz smirked at me and said to his group, "let's have a little fun today." He pulled down his pants and smiled at me. I tried to run again but they held me down. " Don't fucking touch me! " I yelled. He had me go on all fours. He came close to my ears and whispered, " don't worry it will be over soon." I started screaming for help but they shoved one of their sweaty, musky towels in my mouth. "RICKY!" screams my mother. She's shaking me violently and smacks me across the face. " stop that" I said calmly as I grab her hands. "Don't fucking touch me" she slurs. I bring her close to my face and I can smell the alcohol in her breath. "Are you drinking?" My mother pushes me. " oh now you care? Huh??' She shoves me harder. " you're the reason this family is tearing apart, you..you asshole" " I laugh quietly and shake my head. " mother, how can you tear apart a family that's broken when it was already broken? Dont you dare come to me and tell me.." Before I could finish, she started swinging a broken lamp at me. She was red in the face, fighting back her tears as she cried " I never loved you, Jesus fucking christ! I wish you did kill yourself that night! From that moment, I stopped dodging her violent swings. I let her beat me. She hit my face, my back , my entire body was becoming numb but deep down I was numb inside. She eventually stopped, dropped the lamp, turned to her left to vomit and collapsed on the floor. I picked her up gently after 5 minutes, cleaned her up and placed her on her bed. I kissed her forhead as I exit her room. " she's your mother" I thought to myself.