The Broken Suicide

The Broken Suicide: part 6

Ricky

I woke up to the sound of crying from my parents room. Lately, mom has been upset about dad "working" late all the time , my brother who was diagnosed with cancer not too long ago.. Everything was getting out of hand.

I turned to my left to stare at the bare wall. "What time is it?" I thought to myself. I slowly arose from the bed but quickly fell back down in pain. I groaned in pain and forced myself to get up again. I tediously walked towards my mirror. It was dark and cold in my room. The late night crickets brought a soothing sound to the mysterious, dark night. I stared at my body to see cuts on my arms, bruises all over, and a huge gash on the right side of my hip. I reach to touch the back of my neck to feel a bump that frightened me.. All this frightened me still.

"GET OUT HERE RICKY" screamed my father. I immediately picked up a shirt and pants from the floor to put them on and rushed out into the hallway to my mother hitting him while in tears.

"Grab your mother!" he demands.

I rush behind her to pry her off of him as she's screaming ," come back and be a man!"

My father walks out the front door without looking back.

My mother collapses into my arms on the floor in tears mumbling words I couldn't comprehend. I held her to my chest as I rocked her back and forth. After a few minutes, she got silent and pushed me away from her violently. I fell back in shock as she gets up. "Don't touch me Ricky " she says angrily and walks away.

I ran my hands through my hair and got up quickly to chase after my mother whose heading into her room to lock the door. I placed my foot at the door before she could close it.

"Go away" she says sternly. I stare her down quietly. "JUST GET AWAY FROM ME" she screams as she tries to slap me across the face. I get a hold of her arms as she's fighting for me to let go. " I HATE YOU AND YOUR FATHER!" I continue to hold her arms and push her back into the room. "YOU'RE GOING TO GROW UP AND BE A SLIMY, DIRTY MAN WHORE". I let go of her arms to stare at her intently. Before I could say anything I would regret, I stormed off and locked the door behind me. I slid down to the floor and started crying. Sometimes I wished one day wouldn't be a complete hell hole for everyone.. I don't care about myself anymore.. I want everyone to be happy

Detective Stan claps his hands to snap me out of it. "Wake up son, this isn't nap time". I realized I'm still at the police station for questioning.

" I'm here.. I'm awake.. Sorry". I said quietly. Detective Stan sighs ," you're going home with your mother until further investigations can be done, you will be put on probation and you will be going to a hospital until you are pronounced "better" not only that, there will be a trial set up soon. I turned to Ms. V and nodded my head in agreement. Mrs. V shakes hands with Detective Stan. She tells me she'll drive me home but I turn to Detective Stan, "can you take me home sir?" Detective Stan looks at me with confusion and says sure if that's okay with Mrs. V.

Mrs. V approaches Detective Stan to whisper something in his ear and exits out of the room.

"Come on champ" Detective Stan as he slides on his grey jacket with his name engraved on the left side of his chest. I followed him to his office which was neat and organized. I glanced over to my left to see photos of young Stan and his family... "But no father in the pictures?..It was as if.. He ripped.."

"Are you coming?" Snaps Detective Stan. "Y.. Yes.. Yes!" I stuttered as I raced to catch up to him.

We silently drove through the streets pelted with rain. I wanted to say something but decided against it. Detective Stan spoke up. " why did you do it?.. I know I'm not supposed to be questioning you without your lawyer.. But why?" My throat got itchy as I replied, " I didn't do it.. I'm innocent". We pulled into my driveway and got out. I turned around to thank him. Detective Stan stared at me quietly while nodding his head. I turned around scared to see my mother again..

I walk in silently using the hidden key under our door mat to see the house ransacked and unclean.. "What's going on? I question.

Mother

I'm drunk

I can't think straight.

God please kill me.

I hear a knock on the door but I couldn't get up from the floor. I can feel my vomit soaking through my back as I'm lying on it.

I hear the door open and see a figure approach me as I close my eyes.

Kill me..

I wake up a few hours later on the couch, dimmed lights, television playing law and order and cold soup waiting for me by the table in front of me.

I get up and feel my head pounding slightly. I searched the entire house to see if anything was stolen and bumped into Ricky.

"Mom you're awake.. Are you feeling better?"

I stare at him in fear and back away

"Mom why are you staring at me like that ?

"You're.. You're.. A..."

"I'm not" he replies sadly." " can you please hear me out?"

"No, get out of my house!" I reply sharply.

He chases me as I try to run from him. He's not my son I think to myself.

"MOM" he screams. He grabs my arm

"LET GO OF ME" I screech.

I begin to fight with all my might until I realized how masculine my son has gotten over the years... He said something about joining the marines?.. I'm not sure.. But I stopped hitting him. He let go of my arm as we look into each other's eyes." I don't remember the last time I actually looked into his eyes" I thought to myself. " The awkward silence was very unsettling. We glared at each other for a good five minutes. You can hear the bathroom faucet upstairs dripping at a slow pace which reminded me of that torture method they used to have victims spill secrets.

I felt uneasy again, feeling my eyes shift, and I stumbled to the door.

Before I knew it, I collapsed to the floor.