Heartstopper Oneshots

Nick's Mental Health Drop Pt 1

TW: SH, ED, homophobic slurs, strong language, mentions of suicide and attempts

I'm so sorry I haven't written in ages, will try to write as much as possible. I've also been working on an original story too, so stay on the look out. Decided to write about Nick's mental health as there isn't much on it, considering he always takes care of others before himself. Sorry in advance for this story, will be in two parts.

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Nick's POV:

I'm done. I've been dealing with everyone else's bullshit for too long, everyone's mental health and it's now affected my own. I've always had my own problems but I've buried it down for so long. I don't even bother eating breakfast before leaving the house, I really didn't want to go to school today but I didn't really have much of a say in the matter. I walk into form, Charlie is already there and sit down in my spot. 

Charlie's POV:

Nick sits down next to me, but something instantly feels off. "Hi," I say "Hi." he replies. I felt lucky to have a boyfriend like Nick, he has stuck by me through all my problems with my mental health and I hope he knows I would do the same for him. I grab his hand, we've been out for a while now but still receive so many negative comments, I'm use to it but Nick isn't. I hear people comment and Nick instantly lets go of my hand. "Hey, are you okay?" I ask him, he just replies with a stern "I'm fine."

I am a little hurt by this but I shake it off. The bell rings for form to end but Nick doesn't start moving off to his maths class, so I stay put too. Maybe he wants to talk about it, he's been like this for a while. If I didn't bring it up now, I might regret it. "Nick, what's wrong?" I say. He stares down at the table "Nothing," he says as he begins to pack up his stuff. "I know your lying, you've been like this for days." I place my hand on his shoulder but he immediately pushes it off and begins to walk off to class, I call him "Nick, I-"

"CHARLIE, I SAID I'M FINE!" Nick yells, I flinch a little he's never yelled at me before.

Nick's POV:

I stare at Charlie, his eyes are filled with fear and he is trying to hold back tears. I go to apologise but he walks out, Tao is waiting for him but doesn't say anything. I begin to walk to class, Why did you do that? I thought, You yelled at Charlie, all he wanted to do was see if you were okay and you just took your anger out on him. You're such a terrible boyfriend. My thoughts are broken by the sound of homophobic slurs, but escape them in the bathroom. I lock the cubicle and begin to cry, "I'm such an idiot," I say to myself "Charlie deserves so much better." Just then I have the urge to throw up so I do, I haven't eaten properly in days, anything I did eat over those days I ended up throwing up. 

After I'm done throwing up and crying I go to stand up but I slide back down, at first I think it might be cause I haven't eaten in days, which could have been a contributing factor. I look down to where my feet slid, a broken tile slid out under my feet, I pick it up and examine the sharp edge. I then feel a burning in my wrist, I finally understand what Charlie is talking about the feeling. I ignore it for a little bit but I can't take it anymore. I slide the edge against my wrist, I exhale any breath I was holding in, looking down at what I'd done it stung but it felt so good. I make a couple of more slits and leave the bathroom, not before taking the tile and covering my wounds.

*Time skip, lunch time*

I walk over to our lunch table, Charlie notices me but surprisingly he runs up to me and hugs me, I thought he was mad. I hold him to but wince from the cuts I've made, I try to keep it quiet but he notices, "Hey you feeling better, you okay?" he asks, I hated that question "Yeah I'm okay," I lie, "Just tired and aching from sports." We sat down next to each other and began eating, but I knew I was going to throw it up later. Just then Harry came up to us, "Aw.. look, the two fags," he said, I wanted to hit him at this point but didn't have the energy, "What's the matter Nelson? Has being gay made you a fucking mute?" I stood up quickly, suffering from a head rush and almost collapsed, Charlie looked at me concerned but I got back up. "No it hasn't," I said "Because for once I'm actually happy! So piss off and leave us alone!" Harry smirked and laughed "Well, if you don't want people bothering you, how about you go kill yourself." I froze, everyone did but I didn't bother staying still for long, I grabbed my bag and ran for the bathrooms. Harry's words replayed in my head, How about you go kill yourself? Go kill yourself. Kill yourself. 

I locked myself in the cubicle and pulled out the tile shard, maybe Harry was right, instead of cutting across my wrist I slit down the length of my arm. It hurt so much more than last time, more blood poured out too I must have cut deeper than I planned. All at once I feel nauseous and sick, last thing remember is collapsing to the floor and my vision fading to black.

Charlie's POV:

Harry left as Nick ran off, based on the fact he took his bag I knew he wasn't planning on coming back. He had practically collapsed before giving me deja vu, there is no way Nick would spiral into not eating. I have to find him, he would have gone to the bathrooms so I went there. I walked in "Nick? Nick? Are you in here?" there was no answer but as I pass one of the closed cubicles, I see blood coming from under the door. My heart begins to race, "Nick?!" I called again, I knock on the cubicle but it's not locked properly it opens up to reveal a passed out Nick.

"NICK!!" I scream, running to him I move him so he is facing me. He's unconscious, his shirt was stained red, I look at his left wrist to reveal a big cut down his forearm and open his right hand to reveal a bloody tile. "Oh my god, Nick why?" I asked crying "HELP!! HELP PLEASE!!" I called "NICKY, BABY, PLEASE STAY WITH ME!!" I hear the door open, Mr Ajayi ran to my side. "Charlie, what happened?" he asks trying to keep calm, "I-I don't know," I reply still crying "He ran in here after Harry told him to ..." I can bring myself to say it, "And I found him like this, don't know why he would do this, I can't lose him." I started balling again, "Charlie, we're going to get him help, let's go." he said he called an ambulance and I was told I could go with Nick, I watched as they worked on him. 

I can't lose him. I thought, Nick, why did you do this, please I need you to be okay.

A/N So sorry for a sadder story and for the cliffhanger, I'll try and post the final part today or tomorrow.