Brooklyn acm

3. my secrets♚ |austin|

"These fucking eyes that I'm staring at."

Song: Wicked Games

Artist: The Weeknd

I have to find her. That girl knows one of my secrets and could I even trust her. There's a chance she could sell them away for popularity. I can see a girl like her just wanting to be accepted by everyone around her. Just the whole geeky wannabe look makes me get this vibe from her. I can't trust her.

"Austin! Dude! Where have you been?" I hear a deep voice call, making me look back to see my best friends. The one who called my name is Alex. The last time I saw him was at the strip club where he had abandoned me. I had to hitch a ride home from a cab.

"After you ditched me, I just went home," I simply state. I do have some pretty shitty friends, but it wasn't like that all the time. They can be pretty good to me when I need a guy to talk to, but no one has ever listened to me like Bea has. Bea may be some stripper, but she sure felt like a therapist.

"Sorry dude."

"Sometimes sorry doesn't cut it dude," I say, heading over to my locker. Alex can be a real ass sometimes. He's too fair up his ass to see his mistakes have consequences. I may be looking like an asshole to him, but we both have secrets. Not like we are the perfect pair of best friends.

"I'm not perfect, you know that!" Alex whisper shouts to me. I can feel his body warmth directly next to mine.

"But you could at least be a good friend," I snap, glaring at him. Alex seems a little frightened by my look, and he even backs away. He puts his hands up in defense, and then goes back to our group. He whispers something to my other two best friends Zach and Robert. They just glance over at me, and all head on their way.

I let out a sigh at the sight.

I keep my gaze low now, and I shove some books into my locker. When I look back up, I notice piercing hazel eyes watching me from the locker a few ones down. She simply watches me with such sympathy. Something I don't want or need. I don't need some geeky blonde girl just looking at me with her cute puppy dog eyes.

My mom said her name is Brooklyn. I'd seen her around school and I've never wanted to get to know her. She isn't someone I found myself just drooling over. She's just some geek. Not my type. She may have everything in all the right places, but she keeps it hidden. She's too modest. Guys aren't totally turned on by that. I'm not turned on by that.

I decide to go over so I shut my locker, fixing my backpack. Then I make my stride over to her. She simply looks away now, and into her locker. I can tell she's trying to hide from me, but I won't let her. I notice her scrambling actions and when she shuts her locker I grab her wrist. Her gaze averts over to me, and I just lock eyes with her.

Those hazel eyes look so familiar.

"Now you know my secret so what are you going to do?" I ask her, not letting her escape my grasp. I don't hurt her though because I'd never hurt a girl. I have so much respect for girls and I hate how they end up being treated. I'd seen a man abuse a woman in my own home, and I would never be the cause for it.

"I'm going to keep it, Austin. I'm not that low." And with that she rips her wrist from my grasp. She even rolls her eyes at me, and heads on her way to class. I just simply watch her in a daze; listening to the first bell ring and seeing her disappear into a nearby classroom.

♦

I found myself walking home that day since my mom is planning to sell my red range rover. I just couldn't find myself to drive it and then realize the next day that it's gone. I don't even wanna lay eyes on that car because at the same time it reminds me of Camila. I remember the way I would move my hand to rest on her thigh, and then she'd giggle and squeal. I'd smile at the sound of it. But now it just sounds like some horrible sound that I would keep hidden underneath memories.

Camila didn't even look at me once today.

Of course it still bothers me because I do still like her. I know Bea told me I shouldn't, but feelings don't just fade away. I get Camila is some monster to others, but to me she was so much more. It kills me too, but honestly for me to move on I had to hook up with someone else. Just get my mind off Camila for a few days. Once she's off my mind I'll be happy to move on.

I wonder if Bea could be my distraction. She seems pretty cool, and being a stripper and all she probably doesn't have high standards right? I'd pay her. All I want to do is kiss her a bit, let her turn me on, and then I'd go. I don't have feelings for the girl nor will I. She's a stripper, but I could have fun with her.

I think it's wrong to use girls I really do. But right now I just needed to find a way to move on. A distraction. I just needed to clear Camila of my mind and just replace it with someone else. I don't know who, and I am trying to figure out how. And maybe just maybe I could get Bea to hook up with me.

And maybe all my problems would be solved. Well, most of them.

"Tell me you love me, only for tonight."