Identical

Part 3- Everything Changes

March 1979

Sara

I know your eyes in the morning sun

I feel you touch me in the pouring rain

And the moment that you wander far from me

I wanna feel you in my arms again

I can hear the Bee Gees How Deep Is Your Love playing in the background as Andrew and I make out. He slowly moves his hand up my back to unsnap my bra, but I stop him and pull away.

"Andrew," I protest. "I've got to leave soon." I can see the disappointment creep across his face, but I don't care. We've only been seeing each other for 2 weeks, and things are just moving too fast.

Andrew pulls me closer, brushing the hair out of my eyes. "It's OK." Even though he says this, deep down I feel like I should be giving him more. Then I remember that we're not even supposed to be dating in the first place, and I push the thought out of my head. 

We cuddle on the couch for a little bit until we hear the wick, wick, wick of the record against the needle.  That's my signal to leave.

"Is it 4:00 already?" Andrew asks as he gets up. "That was fast."

I slip on my shoes. "Do you want to go to a next Friday? I think it's at Tammy's house. Or was it Tori's?"

 "I guess."  

He walks me to the back door, holding it open. I kiss him on the cheek. "I had fun" I say, trying to sound optimistic. 

He smiles. "Me too."

With that, I sneak out through his backyard, smiling to myself. I can't believe I have a boyfriend. Me. Stuff like this never happens, and I can't believe I've been invited to a party, either. Though I tell Amber almost everything that happens, I feel as if it isn't right. I should be telling Emily these things.

 I walk a few blocks until I see the 7-Eleven in sight. Once there, I buy a few loafs of bread and a gallon of milk. On my way to the register, I stop and pick up a Seventeen magazine as well. She would like this.

After 15 minutes of walking, my arms begin to hurt. Luckily I see Tommy's trailer in sight. As I approach the front porch out of the corner of my eye I see Mr. Marsalle, Tommy's dad, watching me from the garage.  He doesn't say anything, but gives me a creepy glare that I don't like. As usual I ignore it.

When I get to the door I see Tommy standing before me, beer in hand. He looks more tired than the last time I saw him, with bags under his eyes to match his wary expression. He doesn't have a shirt on, so I can see the tattoo he's got on his arm-it says Kotter. 

I hold up the 7-Eleven bag. "I brought groceries. Can I come in?"

Without saying a word he steps aside, holding the door open for me. Though I come here all the time, it never fails to amaze me at how dirty the trailer is. Beer cans, newspapers, and cigarette butts overflow in the garbage. The couch's stuffing is falling out, and the TV's  picture is all fuzzy. Dishes are piled up in the sink, and no one seems to mind that the dog shit on the carpet. It's hard to breathe.

"She's in there." Tommy points to the a small bedroom, the one with posters of Suzanne Somers and Farrah Fawcett on the door. I push it open to find my sister laying in bed with one of her text books laid across her lap. She's having a hard time positioning it so she can read it over her growing belly.

Once she sees me she stops fidgeting. "Hey." she says flatly. I sit down next to her and pull out the magazine. "I thought you might like this." Emily looks it over, obviously trying not to smile. I know she doesn't want to look pitiful, but she's making it pretty damn easy.