Loving Levi Greene

Chapter 14: Herbs

John turns around one last time while exiting Eden's gate, smiling. He gives me a flirty wink.

I feel butterflies awaken and begin to flutter in my lower stomach. 

He came over because he was concerned about me. And he wanted to apologize for his and Levi's behavior from the night before. 

Levi.

I don't know what to think. 

I don't know what to feel.

I know what I did feel before my conversation with John. That feeling seems so distant now. 

So far away. So out of reach. 

I sigh and look down at the wolf's bane. I slip on my gardening gloves once more and lightly touch a dainty, violet petal. 

So beautiful. Lovely to look at. 

But dangerous. 

Toxic. 

Poisonous. 

Levi.

I feel a twinge of sadness tunnel it's way into my heart. I think I feel more disappointment than any other feeling right now.

I know that I don't know Levi that well, but I can't ignore the way that he made me feel when he was around me. He actually made me feel safe. 

I am seriously second-guessing my survival instincts right now, if that's how I felt in the  presence of someone so... supposedly dangerous. 

Not only did I feel safe, but I felt... attracted to him.

Like, seriously attracted to him.

It's not a secret that he's handsome, but with him it felt deeper. It felt like more than just a physical attraction. Almost as if something had pulled me to him.

I sense the sadness coming again. I feel let down. If he's dangerous then I need to distance myself from him. I don't want to trust him and get hurt. 

Physically or emotionally. 

And John... he seems so pleasant. He was actually concerned for my well-being. He even sent someone to look after me after the ball, just to make sure that I made it home safe. I think he likes me. Men don't do things like that if they aren't at least a little interested... right?

I think back to how I thought that Levi might have been interested in me. 

I wanted him to be. 

Maybe he would have seen me as someone he'd be willing to marry. Worth it.

Now, I don't know what I want. I don't know who to believe. 

When John said all those horrible things about Levi, a part of me was terrified. I mean, I rode home with him alone last night. I trusted him to escort me. But, if those things that John said are true, I could have easily been hurt. But another part of me doesn't believe John. This part of me believes that Levi is a good person. It believes that I am drawn to him for a reason. And that he is good for me. 

Back and forth, thoughts aggressively ping pong in my mind. 

I decide that I am going to talk to Levi. I'm going to give him a chance to tell me his side of the story. It's only fair. But I still want to be cautious. I'm going to be careful. I don't know if I should be alone with him, just in case he is who John says he is. 

Quick to anger, violent, aggressive. 

I close my eyes and I focus. I try to remember his features. I want to remember his energy. And I see him. Icy eyes stare back at me. They're beautiful. Deep. I see his face. The sharp contours and full lips. Thick, dark eye brows and black inky lashes. He's beautiful. So handsome.