sometimes people never really talk about the side of depression, the part of depression when you just don't want anything anymore. Everybody talks about when it hurts like hell, when you cry, when you cut, when you take drugs, when you break down. But no one ever talks about when you just lay down in your room, with a hole inside of you that you don't know how to fill, and you don't want to do anything even the things you usually like. So you just spend your day waiting for it to end, and it's horrible because you feel empty and guilty for that at the same time.
I knew it was bad when I started to wake up in the morning and the only thing I looked forward to was going back to bed. every-time someone asks me how I have been I just say "I'm tired." but you can tell it was not just a lack of sleep, but a lack of hope and happiness that made me act the way I do. All these things I'm holding inside me are suffocating me.
No one knew the battle she fought inside of her every day,
but no matter how dark it got, she kept her smile and shined her light for anyone who needed it,
even though she knew she was the one who needed it the most.
I know how it feels to sit on the edge of your bed head in your hands wishing it would all just end.. I passed my hardest moments alone while everyone believed I was fine. Do you ever lay in bed and realize how "not'' okay you are. I couldn't heal the last 4 years because I kept pretending I wasn't hurt.
I wasn't sad anymore, I was numb, I knew I was somehow worse now.
