Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

You know I'll Always Love You Right?

Christmas Eve:

Charlie's pov:
I follow nick into the cabin. "I can't believe we are actually here" he squeals throwing his bags to the side. I nod my head and take a look around. It decorated for Christmas and there's a tree in the corner with a few presents underneath it. "Come here" he holds up mistletoe. "I think this means I need a kiss" he chuckles. I rush over giving him a quick peck. "I'm glad it's just the two of us" I wrap my arms around him pushing Ben out of my mind. This is where I belong.

We start to unpack our bags. "Baby, look it's snowing!" He points out the window tugging on my shirt. "I am so going to throw a snowball at you!" I take off running. "Not if I can throw one at your first" he giggles following behind me. We race out side and quickly start building a fort. "Hey no fair, your hands are bigger than mine" I yell as I watch him build his fort twice as fast as me. He chuckles and throws a snow ball at me. "That's a shit arm for a football player" I giggle throwing one back. "Oh you little shit come here" he runs towards me and I abandon the fort I just built. He tackles me to the ground and pins me until I give. "That's no way to talk about your boyfriend" he chuckles laying down next to me. He turns on his side. "I miss you" I furrow my brows and tilt my head. "I'm right here". "I know but you seem so far away like your just out of grasp. Always lost in thought." He frowns and lays on his back. "I know you have a lot going on with the fake wedding and all, but I don't know I feel like there's more sometimes." I get up shaking the snow off. "Nope nothing on my mind. Nothings up here." I head off towards the cabin. I'm not ready to have this conversation.

Nicks Pov:

Charlie gets up and walks off. I sit in the snow a few seconds more unsure what I did wrong. He really does feel so far away. I shake my head pushing down the feeling and head in.

"I brought stuff to make some dinner" I wrap my arm around his waist pulling him in. He snuggles against me and my world feels right again. "Okay" he turns back smiling placing a kiss on my cheek. "You know I love you right" he cocks his head to the side, an expression fills his eyes that I just can't decipher. "Oh course love" an emptiness fills me. "You know I'm always going to love you right?" He asks a little differently again. "Of course love" falls out of my mouth again and he pulls away. He moves over to the couch and puts on a Christmas movie. I shake it off and move to the kitchen. Maybe he's just hungry. I pull out the pan and start to chop the tomatoes. I put the water on to boil and his words play through my head you know I'm always going to love you right. I don't know why but tears fill my eyes.

I bring the pasta over and slump down on the couch. "What are we watching?" I force out. "Oh just this dumb Christmas movie" he pops the fork in his mouth. "What going on?" I pry. "Well this guy was dating this new guy but his moms barn burnt down and so now he's back home and his ex is working on the family farm so that now they have been forced back together and he's falling for his ex all over again." He rambles on telling me every little detail and who he's rooting for. The ex of course. By the end of the movie I feel like I've seen my future right in front of me. You always go back to your first love. "Babe, what's wrong?" Charlie snaps me out of my thoughts and I jerk at his voice. "Nothing" I shrug off. I don't want to have this conversation right now. "Baby talk to me, you've been off all day." He whines. "Like you haven't been" I mumble back. "What is that suppose to mean?" He scoffs throwing his head back. "It means that I'm loosing you to Ben. Just like in that stupid movie. Your going to go back to Ben." I huff tears start streaming down my face. "Nick I wouldn't do that to you. I chose you remember?" He pleads "yeah I remember..I was there the night you cheated on Ben. How do I know you won't cheat on me?" I snap, crossing my arms. "If fact why don't you tell me why there was two shot glasses the other day?" Anger pours through my words. "What are you talking about?" He jumps up and starts pacing. "When I came over the other day. You told me you had been drinking alone. There was two shot glasses on the table. Look me on the eyes and tell me Ben wasn't there." He stares back at me and stutters "nothing happened". "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" I jumped up off the couch and now I'm the one pacing. "I knew it, I knew you were going to cheat on me with him. How could I be so stupid." "I wouldn't do that to you." He squeaks. "Nothing happened I promise." He pleads tugging at my shirt. "But you wanted it to, didn't you?" I ask more a statement than a question. "I.. I don't know what I want." He mutters and the heat rises in my face. "I think we both know what you want. Your just too scared he's going to hurt you again. What's your plan? string me along until you decide to marry him for real?" "I.. I.." he stutters chewing at his nails. "Just get out." I whimper. I watch him grab his bag and walk out the door. It all feels like slow motion.