Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

New Year.. Different You?

Charlie's Pov:

"Hey babe, what was all of the noise?" I hold the blanket up. "Nick's passed out on the couch" he shrugs and slides in next to me. Chills run down my body and I freeze. "He was drunk and refused to leave. I don't even know how he got here" he reaches over and turns off the table lamp. I sit in the complete darkness for a few seconds taking it in. How is he being so cool about this. "You can see him in the morning, let's just go to bed okay?" He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in close. "Happy new year baby, it's gonna be a crazy one with the wedding, but I love you and it's worth it. He pecks a quick kiss on my lips. "Happy new year baby, I love you too" I kiss him back harder this time. He grips my hips pulling them closer and deepens the kiss. I groan into his mouth and for a split second I feel guilty. His trail of kisses on my neck snap me out of my spiral and I remember that Nick kicked me out, he broke up with me. I shouldn't feel guilty.

I grab my head and squint my eyes as Ben's alarm goes off. "Make it stop" I push a pillow over my face wishing for swift relief. He presses buttons angrily until it stops beeping. I sit up rubbing my eyes "man I drank so much I thought you told me Nick was here." I chuckle throwing the covers back. "He is" Ben sighs and throws my sweatshirt towards me. "Come on, let's get this over with." He pulls his shirt over his head and grabs his sweats from last night. "How are you so okay with Nick being in your living room?" I tilt my head to the side and pull my pajama pants up. "You've had both of us and in the end you chose me, I'm not worried about it." He shrugs. I nod my head in agreement.I'm a little shocked at how well he is handling this. The old Ben would have left him out in the cold or blown up at me. Something's different now.

Nick and Tristan are standing at the counter sipping coffee, they seem to be getting along well enough. "Well look who it is, the love birds and the love birds boyfriend?" He chuckles and starts to walk away. "I'll let the three of you talk, but just remember we have to be back on base by noon" he places his hand on Ben's shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

We all look around awkwardly until Nick breaks the silence. "Char.. I" my heart stops when he says Char. For a split second everything comes rushing back. I don't hear a word he says. Ben nudges me "are you okay with that?" Concern fills his eyes. I stare back blankly at him. "Nick said you could Uber back to your house and he will walk from there. That way you guys can talk." I look back and forth between them. "Are you okay with that?" I whisper. "Baby, you've got a ring on your finger, if you want to mess us up that's on you. But I trust you and I think you two have some things to talk about now that it's real." I nod my head slowly. "Okay, I'll go back with you." I mumble and turn to grab a cup of coffee. I'm gonna need to sober up if we are going to have this conversation.

We sit silently in the Uber on the way back. "Looks like someone had too much to drink last night." The driver laughs breaking the tension. "Yeah you could say that." Nick mumbles. "Alright boys, we're here. Make sure to get some rest after all that partying last night." He winks as we gather our stuff and exit the car. I unlock the door and throw my stuff on the counter. I haven't been home since the trip with Nick. I hear the door close being me. I guess he decided to follow. "Char" he starts. "Wait, can we at least sit down first. I'm exhausted" I crash on the couch and he sits down next to me. I run my hand through my hair groaning. "Char" he says again this time grabbing my hand. He looks down and then back up at me and I see his heart break into a million pieces. "You've already married him, it's too late" his voice breaks. "It's just an engagement ring" I choke out. "So that's it? Your marrying him?" He spits anger raising in his voice. "Nick it's not that I don't love you." I start "you were the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. But you pushed and you pushed and I was forced to make a decision." "Clearly" he interrupts. "Nick listen to me. This is really hard for me but you need to hear it." I place my hand on his knee and squeeze. His face softens and he nods his head. "I love you Nick and I didn't want it to end like this. I've been having mixed feelings for a while I'll admit but I wasn't ready to make a decision yet. At the cabin, you kept pushing and you forced me to choose and as much as I love you, I've only know you a few months. I've been with Ben since I was a teenager. I couldn't ignore the history Nick. I dreamt for years for this moment. I had to give it a shot. I'm not blaming you, but you have to understand me." Tears roll down my cheeks and Nick reaches up to wipe them away but pulls his hand back. "I shouldn't have forced you to make a decision." He wipes his own tears away. "Would it have made a difference...? if I wouldn't have pushed?" He looks up at me hope lingering in his eyes. "No... I don't think it would have" I answer breaking everything left in him. "Okay Charlie, you've made your decision. I get it." He nods his head and sniffs. "Whens the wedding?" He blows his nose. "Next month" I choke on the words. He nods his head and stands up. "I'm gonna go." He walks towards the door. "Here" he places the key I gave him on the table and walks out the door. I walk over and pick up the key. Tears swarm my eyes and suddenly I can't breathe. I slide down the door and sob until I can't feel anymore. Nothing feels right in this moment.