Love In The Dark

Looking in the Rearview

Author's note/preface: Everything in this book is loosely related to the actual SVU storylines. Exact storylines aren't depicted and have no exact relevance to the book. William Lewis did previously abduct Liv, but he obviously didn't die like he did on the show. This won't be a totally and completely fairytale happy book, but I'm also not trying to deeply trigger anyone. There will be trigger warnings (*tw*) before any depictions of assault and there will be no depictions of r*pe. Any mentions of sensitive topics I will do my best to lead with a *tw* followed by a description of what the passage will entail and or depict. // -Han

She knew she couldn't stay out all night without worrying Liv, but she just needed to clear her mind. She walked out without saying anything angrily letting the door slam behind her. She walked outside to the parking garage and sat in her car. She turned the music up blasting it so the security detail couldn't hear her angrily yelling. She clenched her hands around the steering wheel turning the music down. She rolled her window down and waved over one of the cops that was on shift to watch after her and Liv and make sure Lewis didn't gain access to their apartment. All she wanted was for Liv to reconsider going into protective custody until he was found. It had been two weeks since he had escaped and she'd been living in pure terror. She knew that Lewis wanted Liv and the thought of him getting to her made Amanda feel physically ill. She couldn't watch her go through that or live with not knowing where she was and if she was okay or even alive again.

"Rollins, you going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I was just about to grab a cup of coffee and clear my head."

"Okay, I'll be right behind you." With that Amanda leaves the garage and drives to her and Liv's favorite coffee shop. She knew it wouldn't be the same going without Olivia, but she needed the comfort of familiarity right now. Upon arriving she orders her vanilla latte and takes a seat in a small corner table. As she's waiting for her coffee she gets a text. Looking down she expects it to be Liv again trying to get her to come back but it's an unknown number. At first she ignores it and assumes it was someone with the wrong number, but then it rings. Without thinking she answers it and feels her stomach drop when the facetime call connects to William Lewis. 

"Ah, yes. Detective Rollins. Does this bring up memories for you?" He laughs and starts talking again.

"We're going to play a game. You're going to get up from your little date night café and get back in your car. Once you're there you're going to drive. You're going to keep driving until you're out of New York City. There'll be an address pre-programmed into your car's gps. Don't worry about losing the security detail, they won't be a problem. I think you already know what's going to happen if you take this to SVU or any other part of NYPD, don't you?" He flashes her a smile and the line disconnects. She drops her phone on the table and stands up. Her entire body feels shaky and heavy at the same time. She grips the edge of the table regaining her balance and trying to keep it together. She pulls a crumpled ten dollar bill out of her pocket and tosses it onto the table. She forces a smile at the barista grabbing her phone and walking back out to her car. Once she made her way back into the car she pulled out her phone again. Tears well up in her eyes as she opens up hers and Olivia's messages. She clicks the microphone icon before starting her message.

"Hey My Love, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for fighting with you. I understand where you're coming from." She pauses as her voice breaks. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for just storming out and I'll see you soon. I love you so much Liv." She sends the message and wipes away the tears that have spilled over. She opens her contacts and hovers over the NYPD contact. Panic and fear courses through her body when she hears his voice.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Lewis emerges from the back seat and holds his gun to her head. "That was a really touching message, I'm sure she'll appreciate that being the last thing she ever hears you say. Drive, now. Out of the city." She turns the key into the ignition and shakily buckles her seat belt.

"Okay, I'm going, I'm driving you can put the gun down." She looks in the rearview mirror and back to the road.

"I'm in charge here. I tell you what's going to happen." He cocks the gun and loads a bullet into the chamber. "Your girlfriend got lucky before we got to finish our little game of Russian Roulette, you won't get so lucky." He pushes her hair off the side of her face with the barrel of the gun and the cold metal sends a shiver through her body. She knew in this moment that this was his plan all along. His revenge on Olivia was her.

He instructs her to drive and after a few minutes he tells her to take out her phone.

"That's good, Hand it back to me." She slowly passes the phone back keeping her eyes on the road trying to ignore his reflection in her rearview mirror. He smashes the phone screen and then throws it out the window.