Operation: Dard and Devotion

16 | Baffled & Bitter

Thankyou @mominabatool75 for the cool chapter art! :)

Ahsan

The strangest feelings hung over my head for the past few hours and for once, I did not know how to deal with them. Even my vision was clouded by an immense fog of frustration.

Pulling off my balaclava, I sighed with relief that I was finally able to inhale air properly without hindrance. I ran a hand over my face as though that would wipe away all my distresses.

But, of course not.

Guilt was eating me from the inside out.

Remorse was filling up the void from within.

This guilt was a seal that was permanently engraved in my life. I cringed at the mere thought that I was beginning to feel immensely guilty and regretful.

Never before had I even had a second thought about someone I had killed. If I had to stab someone, I did it. If I had to suffocate someone, I did it. If I had to shoot someone, I did it. No questions asked, no looking back.

But now, I was having second and third thoughts of everything I had done and will do.

And why? All because a stupid girl had told me off.

Clenching my jaw at the thought of her, I wondered if there was any truth in her rambling. I scoffed to myself quietly as I leaned back in the teacher's chair, propping up my legs on the desk in one of the Sunday School classrooms.

Her rambling...

She was rather amusing when she was angry or embarrassed. While she had meant to sound serious, I had strongly fought the urge to crack up in her face whenever she had felt the need to lecture me. Her nostrils would flare up and she'd exasperatedly flail her arms in the air in an attempt to get me to see her point of view, particularly when she was mad or felt humiliated.

Especially the latter.

God, her face resembled a tomato the moment she stepped foot into the room after this morning's little natural incident. Poor thing. She tried her very hardest to avoid any sort of eye contact with me until I ticked her off. Perhaps I was being a jerk then, but I couldn't let such a golden opportunity slip by.

"No 'thank you's' this time?" I cocked an eyebrow in amusement.

"Shut up," she muttered, not enjoying my humor on her behalf.

"Oh, monthly mood swing mode, eh?" I was clearly entertained by her misery, a corner of my mouth curled up in a smirk. "I've only heard about that, never actually seen a girl go through it. How bad does it get? Do you throw around furniture and punch walls?"

"Do you want to die?"

I chuckled to myself and when the intensity of her words and facial expression actually hit me, the ripples of laughter morphed into great waves of hilarity, so much that I nearly fell off the chair.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" A booming voice echoed in the empty classroom. My glee instantly vanished and I froze in my spot, but then relaxed when I saw it was just Murtaza. He had taken off his head covering and pulled up a chair across from me.

"Nothing. I was just thinking of something," I told him, waving my hand nonchalantly.

"Let's hear it then," Murtaza insisted, pressing the matter to the next level. "I'm in need of a good laugh too."

While I can be a jerk, I wasn't that much of a jerk to just tell him the truth. At least, I didn't think I was.

"It's not even all that funny, really," I lied. "Anyways, what did you come here for?"