Operation: Dard and Devotion

32 | Redemption & Reassured

Despite Ahsan being Faizan's younger blood brother, he certainly did not look anything like him. A dark beard grazed Ahsan's sunken cheeks and his ruffled, black hair hung over his forehead. I noticed a slight scar that was located across his cheekbone. All this time, I was only exposed to his mouth and eyes, and now I was able to see the heavy circles that accompanied them - a sure sign that he was tired, weary, and sleep-deprived.

But so was I, and I was not in the mood to sympathize with the enemy.

"Why the hell did you come back here?" I snapped. His face appeared so foreign to me that I preferred to only make eye contact. "Have you not done enough?"

Ahsan closed his eyes briefly. "Hayat, I don't know where to begin-"

"Well, you can save your breath. Please, I'm begging you. Just let me sit here and cry in peace, or is that now too much to ask for?" I gripped Saad's blood-stained blanket even more than before. I ignored the pain that erupted from my knuckles. "Just go!"

"You always hear me out," he said, ignoring my demand, and pleaded with his eyes. "Please, just listen to me one more time and I promise I'll-"

"I trusted you, Ahsan," I admitted, absolutely hating that I had to use past tense. Tears that had lined up at the brim of my eyes were beginning to slowly work their way down. "I trusted you with my safety, with Saad's l-life, and my life. It usually takes me a long time to do that to someone and you completely shattered everything in a matter of seconds. But, it's my fault that I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I should have known better. I should have realized that a terrorist would have no other reason to keep me around other than to ki-"

"No!" Ahsan shouted in a tone that was many octaves above the one he had been using. "The only reason why I did things the way I did is so you wouldn't be killed."

"Lies," I hissed at him, my face morphing from grief to disgust. "You seriously have the nerve to-"

"On the first night you were at the cave, why didn't I rape you when Faizan asked for consummation proof when I very well could have?" Ahsan retorted. "Why did I let civilians have a sip from my water bottle when I didn't have to do that? Why did I save you when Zaakhir assaulted you? Why did I show you the interview of your parents? Why did I tell you about my family? Why did I stop destroying those graves when you told me to? Why did I take you to visit my mother when I didn't want to?"

I scoffed, rage boiling within me. "Why did you threaten me on my first night at the cave? Why did you just stand around when innocents were being killed? Why did you throw down that civilian from the rooftop? Why did you tell Faizan that I was menstruating? Why did you report everything to Faizan as soon as you left the room?" I choked back as I asked him one more question. "Why...why did you flog me?"

"I..." His face fell. "I did that to save your life..."

Ever since he tore off that balaclava, he had been spewing nonsense. Go figure.

"To save my life?" I asked him exasperatedly. My eyes were just about to bulge out of their sockets. "Why would you stitch me back together if you were only going to break me apart all over again?"

Ahsan appeared broken.

"You lied to me, you lied to me about so much. You know what? I bet you lied about your whole family background story too, just for the sake of putting together a colorful tale."

He stared at me as though I had dumped ice cold water on him and then slapped him, though, I had half a mind to do so.

"No," he whispered hoarsely. "That was real."