Operation: Dard and Devotion

27 | Uneasy & Unfaithful

I had suddenly felt rather guilty for not thinking of Rafaa more often in the past few months. She had been with me the first night I had arrived in Umm Qais in Jordan up until the point she had been dragged away from me because she had spat on Faizan's face back in the cave. It felt as though she had been nearly wiped away from my memory.

"Rafaa...where were you all this time?" I asked softly. She did not look as though she could handle much noise. The vivaciousness was utterly sucked out of her and she presently amounted to nothing more than a dying soul.

Rafaa looked awful.

She wore an abaya without any sort of head covering, revealing dark, matted hair. Her eyes were gloomy and sullen. I remembered her with eyes that were once lined with kohl, but now they were lined with dark circles. The skin that covered her gaunt cheekbones was tremendously dry and looked as though she had been picking on the fresh scabs and sores on her face. Her lips were fully chapped and she could not even pluck up the energy to moisten her them with her tongue.

I wondered if she could recognize me.

"R-Rafaa, it's me, Hayat. Do you remember me, from the schoolhouse?" I croaked as she faintly squinted in my direction to get a better view. Watching her eyes widen led me to assume she did indeed know who I was, but her expression was not one of slight happiness upon seeing a long lost friend.

It was one of fear.

She struggled to form words because of her parched throat. "H-Hayat...I..."

"Wait," I interrupted, holding up my hand. "You need water and I have some. Just give me two minutes and I'll be right back."

Without waiting for her response, I raced down the corridors so as not to waste time, and was relieved to find Saad safe and sound asleep. I scanned the corner of the room for the water bucket and food bag Faizan had brought. Doubtful, I eyed the items with suspicion.

What if he laced the water with something? Or perhaps he had poisoned the food?

The food did not look as appetizing as I had thought of them to be when I had first laid eyes on them. Trying to save time, I hurriedly grabbed the first fruit I saw, a fig, scratched the surface with my nails, and brought it up to my nostrils. It smelled rather normal, surprisingly, and so did the others. Before leaving the room, I briefly gave Saad a glance and saw that he had stirred in his sleep and was curiously searching the room for a familiar face. Dropping everything, I rushed over to him and knelt by his side.

"M-mam...mama," he said sleepily, stretching out his tiny, chubby fingers towards me.

For the first time in a long time, my heart froze in a good way. Saad probably had no idea what he had said, but it meant the world to me. My eyes filled with tears of joy. "Shh baby, I'm right here," I assured him tenderly, rubbing his little head. "Mama will be right back, I promise."

After firmly kissing his forehead and cheek, I patted his stomach lightly, which, in Saad's case, was a good method to get him to fall asleep. It pained me to have to leave him alone yet again, but I hastily wrapped the bag around my wrist, gripped the water bucket, and scurried back to Rafaa, shutting the door behind me.

"Here, drink," I told her, dragging the bucket by her side. I watched as she tried to reach out for it, but her slumped and battered form could not manage such an effortless task. I took it upon myself to sweep water into my hands and bring it to her mouth. She gratefully accepted, not caring that the transparent fluid was running down her chin and neck. When she seemed to have had her fill for the time being, I collected what little strength I had to rip open a pomegranate from the bag and offered to her.