Love On The Court

𝕊𝕚𝕩𝕥𝕪-𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣

📆: August 4th, 2023
📍: MHS clinic, Manhattan, NY
⚠️: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

"And have you been doing your homework?"

Toni sits across from Mrs. Boroughs with a deadpan expression, her fingers picking at her rip jeans. This is her third visit here and she hates it.

Talking to a stranger about her the problems she still won't admit that she has, Toni considers it a waste of her time. 'Why be doing this when I could just have a nice drink at a bar?' is what she said to her aunt Kate when the woman dropped her off earlier.

They won't let her drive her car or be alone for too long. She feels like she is suffocating.

Dr. Boroughs' light blue eyes stare at her expectantly as she nods. "That's good." she smiles. "And how has that been going? The withdrawals I mean."

"Okay." the brunette replies dryly. "They're kicking my ass but...I'm on suicide watch by literally my whole family so no drinking for me, yay." she claps her hands in faux excitement before her face drops into its previous deadpan expression.

The woman across from her hums gently as she begins to write something down. "So, today, we are going to touch a bit on your mother, if that's alright?"

That gathers Toni's attention making her sit upright and clear her throat. "I guess."

At that, she smiles. "Good. So, as I've been told by your sister, Elaine passed away almost three months ago."

"Mhm."

"How have you been feeling since then?"

"Horrible." the athlete murmurs, looking down. "It's why I'm here...aren't I? I mean, I tried to kill myself for that reason." she then chuckles but when her therapist doesn't do the same, her smile drops. "Sorry." she clears her throat.

"Tell me, Antoinette, and be honest."

"Uhm..." Toni sighs as she adjusts herself on the comfortable couch. "I...it's been, tough. Very tough. I mean, I'm parentless and now it feels like my sister has to take care of me or something."

"And why do you feel that way?"

"Well, because..." the brunette trails off while averting her eyes. Admitting to this will open new wounds she's not ready for.

But she knows that she has to.

"I have a problem...a few actually. And...she's stuck taking care of me because of said problems. And I feel like shit about it." now that it's off her chest, Toni feels a big weight lift off her shoulders.

"I see." Dr. Boroughs writes on her notepad before meeting the athlete's gaze.

"She has better things to worry about, you know? Like she has her baby boy on the way, her daughter will be in college soon. She doesn't need the burden of me on her back all the time."

"You are not a burden, okay?" the woman reassures. "Your sister loves you very much, trust me. She doesn't feel like you're weighing her down in any way."

"Then why does it feel like I am?" Toni fights the tears pricking at her eyes.

"Well, that's because people who suffer from depression or anxiety tend to feel as if they're not as valued or worth it. It's the most common symptom of a mental health disorder."

The latter only keeps her head down and subtly wipes her tears away. "Okay, so, life without your mother, how are you coping?"

"Now?" the woman nods to confirm her question. "Uh, I lie in bed all day. I can't really do anything now that I've been restricted from drinking. I just sit in my thoughts and wish to have her back again."