"F!": My Grungey Seattle Adventure (With My Besty and With Mudhoney)

22: 'This Gift'

7:09

HOLLY

Rex started telling me the story of how he met Dan Peters at Mighty M donuts (or whatever the heck it's called) after he was certain I was finished eating. That's how shocked he thought I would be, and Rex never underestimates me. 

I'm currently rolling around on the floor, weeping softly.

Elliot kindly left to give us our privacy, but I'm almost sure he's listening in on us from the other room. Rex looks at me with an amused expression as I wail, "Why not me?!"

"He said to give him a call if anything comes up, and that he'd let us know if he hears anything fr-"

I sit up. "But you can't make calls, Rex, remember?!"

"Oh, dude, you're right..." Rex snarls, then perks up. "I'll give you his number, then."

I let that sink in, collapsing onto the floor again dramatically. "Dan Peters' phone number!" I cry. 

Rex shushes me through hysterical laughs. "Hey, why don't we check on your test results?" he suggests after we both calm down.

"Right," I say, pushing myself up off the floor. Rex offers me a hand but I shake my head and say I'm good.

"I'm positive that this will come out negative," Rex jokes as I take the strip out of the liquid. I'm not nervous, I know I'm not sick. I double-check the instructions, then triple-check them because the strip shows only a pink line. "Why is there only red?" Rex asks, verbalizing my own thoughts. 

"Blue, pink equals positive..." I mutter, flipping the sheet over. "Here. It means it's invalid," I conclude. 

Rex sighs. "Do the other one."

I groan. How inconvenient. What could I have done to make the result "invalid"? Maybe it's because I'm not using gloves, which are recommended. 

As I'm swabbing my nose for the second time tonight, Elliot enters the room cautiously. "What happened?" he asks quietly.

Rex explains the situation, and orders him to "take that damn mask off; we're inside." Elliot obeys. "She's not sick," Rex adds, not sounding convinced. He sets the microwave timer to one minute.

Then we all sit in the living room and chat while that minute goes by. We share a little about our jobs. Rex explains to me that he's still looking for employment and that he's thinking of becoming a "coffee shop guy" or joining Elliot at the record store if they end up hiring. "I'm just keeping an eye out for a job that pays well but doesn't take up all of my time so I can keeping doing film stuff."

"And playing music," Elliot adds. Rex shoots him a watch yourself glance, so I assume he left that part out on purpose. And it's the perfect time for the one minute timer to go off, reminding me that I have to remove the swab from the liquid and put the second test strip in it. I do this quickly and set another timer for ten minutes.

I love that Rex is finding time to do what he loves, but it bugs me that he didn't say anything about it to me until now. And I can't help but be reminded of Vidal when Rex talks about jamming. Vidal was our band's singer, and he died when he was 18. When we were 18. To me, he was the best singer in the world, and it's a damn shame more people didn't get to hear him. Vidal's death left a void in me that nothing will ever fill. I will never be in a band again.

And Rex has the nerve to go on like nothing ever happened! Still, it's his life, and I'm not going to tell him how to live it. I'd just like to know why he made the deliberate choice to not tell me about his band shenanigans.

It's clear that Rex can sense my discomfort again, because he quickly changes the subject when I walk back into the living room. "Elliot, why don't you give Holly her present?" he smiles. 

Elliot glares at him in response, and says, "Yeah, sure", getting up to take something out of his bag. Whatever's inside is very flat and square shaped, which means it could only be one thing...

...a vinyl record. Elliot's selection is both a pleasant surprise and a disappointment: a pleasant surprise because I absolutely adore Blind Melon, but a disappointment because I already have this record at home. 

Rex smiles and raises his eyebrows at me, but I can tell he is not sure whether I own this one already or not. I politely accept the gift with a gasp and a high-pitched "Thank you so much! I love Blind Melon!" My reaction visibly puts both men at ease; I guess they were both nervous to see what I thought. An awkward moment of silence follows as I pretend to study the album art, smiling. The jumble of letters in the bowl seem to perfectly spell out my frustration today: "B MELLIONNYD," it says, if you look at it a certain way.

"I figured you'd like it," Elliot explains. "Oliver talks about you all the time, so I had an idea of what kinda music you like." Ha, I almost forgot that I'm one of the only people who calls Rex by his nickname.

"I love it, thank you," I smile. I don't find it weird that my best friend's roommate who's never met me just bought me a present. Not weird at all. 

Just then, the microwave timer goes off. Ten minutes went by so fast, holy hell... "Saved by the bell," I find myself saying, and Rex laughs. I have a feeling he had the same thought. Elliot follows us to the kitchen to review this round of testing's result.

I have to look back on the instructions sheet three -- no, four times. On the strip, there's a red line, but also a blue one next to it. "What the-" Rex starts. Elliot looks horrified. 

My result's positive.