"F!": My Grungey Seattle Adventure (With My Besty and With Mudhoney)

18: 'I Have to Laugh'

6:12 

REX

I've been searching around West Seattle for a "tall, skinny, older" man in a hospital gown. It's been about 30 minutes already, and so far, I've found nothing. What the heck is happening to my life right now? It feels like the universe is keeping Holly away from me. Why?

Seriously, though. All I wanted was to hang out with my best friend in my hometown for a few days, and so far, one of those days has been almost entirely wasted. Stupid ambulance lady keeping her in the hospital all day.

I'm starting to bore and tire myself with all this driving, and I think some caffeine would do me good. All I've had for the past half an hour has been water. 

Just as I begin to park near the closest coffee shop, my phone rings. Good, it must be Holly calling to tell me she's finally done with all this hospital business. I'd better buy some coffee for her. 

"Hey."

"Elliot."

"What?"

"What are you calling me right now for?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm with Holly, what do you think?" I lie. 

"Okay. I just thought you two would be back by now, that's all. And should I start on dinner?"

I sigh. "We're fine, thank you. I'll be home soon. There's Popchips if you're hungry."

"Sweet, thanks," Elliot says, sounding genuinely grateful. "And when will you guys be back?"

Good question. "Uh... I don't know. I'll call-- never mind, I-- call me if anything happens. You can start dinner in twenty minutes if I'm not back by then."

"Sounds good. See you later."

"Bye."

Elliot hangs up first. I feel bad for being short with him; I'm just really pissed about how my day's been going so far. Elliot's only trying to be helpful, and he's clearly really excited to meet Holly. I see why; she's a cool gal, and I'm proud to be her best friend. Maybe too proud. Enough to not admit that we're not spending time together at the moment. I really wish we were, though. 

The flat white I ordered is refreshing. Not what I'm used to, but I felt like something different would feel nice, and it does. I sip it on the red chairs out front, feeling lonely in an almost pleasing way, like it's actually amusing to think of the situation that I'm in. 

...very amusing...

I'm snickering out loud now, which is making me feel a bit insecure because there is a man seated at the table on the other side of the door. I glance in his direction. He is also alone, and he  either is pretending not to notice me or doesn't notice me. I hope it's the latter. 

I continue to sip my coffee, when the image of Lukin walking on the sidewalk in nothing but a hospital gown enters my mind again, causing me to choke a bit. I fake a cough into my arm in attempt to appear casual, glancing at the guy again. He is looking at me curiously, and I notice he is wearing a fedora. Damn, why is everything so funny?!

Now I'm pretending to blow my nose into a napkin. How awkward. I wish these tables weren't placed so close together, close enough for Mr. Fedora and I to hold a conversation, if one of us starts one. I hope he just ignores me, but I hear:

"Excuse my curiosity, but... what's so funny?"

He's smiling, I can hear it through the mask. " I'm sorry," I chortle. "It's just..." My voice trails off and I inhale deeply through my nose to get myself to stop laughing. I'm tempted to say "never mind" or nothing at all, but instead I tell it like it is. "I'm just in kind of a funny situation right now."

The fedora guy nods, and when he lowers his coffee cup from his lips, I realize that he looks vaguely familiar without a mask... who does he look like? This is gonna bother me. "Care to tell me a little bit about it?" he asks in what sounds almost like a southern accent.

I tell my entire story between chuckles, and midway through, I realize that Mr. Fedora isn't laughing. He's just listening quietly, raising his eyebrows and scratching his face every now and then. Dang it, who does he remind me of?

By the time I finish, I've cracked myself up so hard, my abdominal muscles ache. Fedora man looks at me then at his coffee cup with intense surprise in his eyes and a sly smile on his lips. Does he know something that I don't? 

Fedora shifts in his seat, puts his mask back on, and turns to me again. He looks at me with such intensity that I dart my eyes from the door and back to him. "I'm sorry," I say, nervously wiping a laughing tear from my eye. It's embarrassing that I just told a stranger about my whole day and couldn't keep myself together. 

From the man, I'm expecting a response like "are you high?" or "seek help," but I instead receive an empty reply of "I-I don't know how to respond to that." He pauses and moves his coffee cup around in a circle, trying to find words. "I-I'm Dan, by the way. Dan Peters."

I nod. "Nice to meet you, Da-- wait. You're-"

Dan Peters.

"Yep."

"Well, I'll be..." 

Dan knows he has me in disbelief because he is now laughing as hard as I was a minute ago.

"I didn't even recognize you at first; you know, like I said, I'm not as big of a fan as my friend is..."

"It's alright," Dan smiles, as if I just apologized for not knowing who he is (which I kind of just did). "Look, I'll give Lukin a call, and we'll see if he picks up."

"Oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much."

"Of course," Dan says, already dialing. This man might be saving me from having the rest of my time with Holly today taken away. I down the rest of my flat white and let the gratitude sink in.