3:58
REX
So. Holly's at the hospital, and I'm picking her up. The plan is: I go to Harborview, pick Holly up there, then we drive to Pike Place to get her car and drive home, each in our own cars.
I'm stressing out again, and this time, it's not about the situation as a whole, but the fact that I'm about to see Holly, rather. This then makes me think of food. I think I have a stress-eating problem; I was about to finish a fourth donut when Holly called me. Fourth! I know I could've eaten more, but, man! I need to get it together!
As much as I'd like to pick up a snack for myself before heading to the hospital, I'm not going to. Because then I'll end up eating in the car, and it breaks a rule I have set for myself: no eating while driving. The last time I tried that, I almost hit a guy on the West Seattle Bridge! It earned me some shouted curses and a middle finger, but, fortunately, there was no damage. Nonetheless, it was scary and I don't want it happening again. Besides, eating requires the consumer to be fully invested in the action. Otherwise, what's the point?
By the time I'm underneath the "Emergency & Trauma Center" sign, my hands are shaking. I know part of it is general social anxiety, which I'm used to, but knowing that Holly is waiting for me inside makes it ten times worse. And the thing about my anxiety is that it doesn't emerge until right before something happens -- like seconds before -- in a full blown eruption.
I step inside the lobby with a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. A sleepy-eyed receptionist asks me what they can help me with; I respond by saying that I'm here to see my friend, adding that it's "a bit of an emergency... but not the medical kind."
The receptionist gives me a confused look before bombarding me with pointless questions. At some point, I'm just like, "Look, she said she's in the Emergency Department, I don't know where that is... I was just going to text her to meet me here. Is that okay?" I'm practically yelling now, both out of anger, and to be heard under my mask and over the hospital chatter.
The receptionist sighs as if they're about to say something in protest, so I speak up. "I gotta go take a leak. I'll deal with you later," I interrupt, then turn away sassily before realizing I have no idea where to go. "Wait, where's the bathroom?"
***
It is true that I have to pee, but I also feel it'd be best for me to find someplace secluded to gather myself before I really lose my cool on someone. What better place to do that than a public bathroom stall?
I can hear shifting inside one stall, which means I'm not the only guy in here, so I occupy a spot farthest away from that one to gather myself.
Sitting atop a toilet with my pants on, I run my fingers through my hair and practice what to say to Holly when we see each other. Should I act angry or sympathetic? I'm feeling both. What would I say if--
"Heh, hehehe. HahHA!" A phlegmy laugh sounds from outside the stall door, bringing me back to reality. I can't spend any more time in here; Holly's waiting on me. Plus, someone's frickin' laughing to themselves in the public bathroom! Probably a crazy person or a creep... not someone I want to be around much longer. I exit the stall to wash my hands.
As I rub my hands together in a soapy lather, a puzzling sight catches my eyes in the mirror. A very tall, older man in a hospital gown is using a urinal and holding what appears to be a cellphone at a high angle over his head, grinning. Do my eyes deceive me, or is this guy taking a selfie while peeing?!
I fight a chuckle at the sight as I brush my hands against my hair to dry them, laughing my way out of the bathroom. Weird things happen in hospitals; Holly must know!
Back in the lobby, the receptionist sees me and points at something across the room, yawning. Staff members coming to help me out? Security after my ass? Nope, it's Holly.
YOU ARE READING
"F!": My Grungey Seattle Adventure (With My Besty and With Mudhoney)
Fiksi Penggemar'look to my eyes, tell me what you see...' 'F' *** It's August 1st, 2021 - 33 years after Mudhoney released their debut single - when Holly Osmond is visiting her best friend, Rex, in Seattle. Holly can't wait to see her "besty" in person for the fi...